I think today was successful. / something I would love to do if I had the confidence.

I had my phone consultation with my gp today. I think that it was successful but there may be delays in getting things sorted. I told them about how my monthlies were at the moment. I’m getting an ultrasound and a blood test to measure my hormone levels. I have my blood test next week but the ultrasound wait is unknown at the moment. The gp thinks that it sounds hormonal and cryptic pregnancy ‘doesn’t exist’. I just want my issues sorted. If it’s hormonal then logically it can be rebalanced so that sounds easily fixable.

I was thinking about things I’d love to be able to do providing I had the confidence. I have never had the confidence to to stick up for myself. The police officer that bullied me while constantly tracking me as a teenager still lives down the road from my mother. I know the things that got written in my notes due to her involvement. She worked on my case collating information to secure my criminal label for most of my teen years. I kicked back as a teenager because she kept harassing me which made my behaviour problems worse. I only wanted a friend, absolutely no threat to anyone at that point. She wanted to use me as a target for bullying. She’s taken the piss out of me in front of a group of other police when I was in custody before I was sectioned and sent away. I would confront her now if I had the confidence after everything I found out regarding what happened in the past. However, I don’t want the hassle at this point of my life. She shouldn’t have got away with the things that she did while in the police. I wasn’t the only one. She was a pain in the neck to many people. Even another, now retired, police officers son said him and others he knew were always being picked up by her for any excuse. Targets were definitely in the equation at that time otherwise this officer wouldn’t have gone to the lengths that she did regarding the lies in the notes. She was still involved with the local council a few years ago. I’m hoping that she’s retired by now. If I come across her name on anything which suggests she’s still pulling the same stunt on people then I will make sure that she doesn’t get away with ruining someone else’s life.