Depression is a battle.

I’ve got to the point where I am running out of energy just doing every day things. I need a nap to get the next burst of energy needed for other tasks. I feel like I’ve got extremely unfit. I can’t bend down without feeling like I’ve ran a marathon. I get out of breath just trying to get up off the sofa. It’s a struggle when I gain a bit of weight due to being on the short side. Lockdown has consisted of too much food and alcohol. I know that the gyms open today but I’m not fit enough to go there yet. I never go much even when I do join a gym. It’s full of people who make me look fat for just being curvy. I was able to keep up with that type of image in my 20s but since I hit 30 it’s got progressively harder. I would probably never look like these gym types if I even stopped eating. As I have said previously, my bones on their own are a size 6 due to curvy shape. I don’t have the height to do proper skinny. I also enjoy food too much so I’m never going to have that type of body. I just cannot stand diet shakes. I’ve only just managed to drink decent amounts of water. I’m not massively obese so weight isn’t an issue I need to address. I’m doing long walks at least once a week (weather permitting) which will make me a bit fitter. I’m starting to feel old and I’m sure my health problems are kicking off because I feel cold when everyone else seems warm enough. I’m definitely not right. That is why I was quite irritated when the gp surgery cancelled my blood test. The way my monthlies have been for the last few months has probably caused me to lose half of my iron again. The tiredness may not be depression but I felt down too so I assume it’s linked. I am fed up of having to nap in order to get every day tasks done.