Depression creeps up on me :(

I’m having one of those days where I just want to sleep. I did some of the things that needed doing but now having a rest because I don’t have any energy. I feel overwhelmed by what needs to be done even if it’s small jobs that take less time than it takes to think about doing them. I have brain fog too. I barely have any milk. However, going out to get some from the corner shop is just not happening today. It can last until tomorrow if I only use it for tea and skip breakfast cereal tomorrow morning. I sometimes need to reset myself. I’m sure that I’ll be okay after my brain has had a rest. I’ve barely used my brain for anything but functioning. That feels like climbing a mountain when depression is clawing you down continuously. I’m on antidepressants which sometimes doesn’t work. They make me unable to feel part of life. I literally cannot feel any type of feelings any longer apart from sadness. They’re not supposed to make depression worse but I think I’ve been on them too long. I was given that medication as a teenager. They weren’t the same antidepressants. I have been on different ones over the last 15 years. That’s literally half of my life. They’ve numbed my brain now. It didn’t help that throughout childhood I was treated with medication for epilepsy which I didn’t actually need as it turned out I was misdiagnosed. I’m starting to feel the damage that it’s all done to me at this age. They say that these medications are supposed to make you feel better. They’re only like using a plaster because the progress is only temporary. In the end, they just lead to you withdrawing from life. You don’t want to do anything, dislike spending time with anyone and sleep is the only place you want to be. I have tried so hard to fight depression this week. It’s all messy in my flat because I just haven’t done enough. I’m just a failure at the moment.