I failed miserably today. I’m also miserable today.

I meant to do a lot of things today. I ended up sleeping most of the day. I am still not right because my monthly kicked off again. I had to take more medication for those issues. I’m just down at the moment which isn’t helping me get anything done. Father’s Day isn’t really a great day when you’ve no longer got a living Dad. I’m sure that my Dad wouldn’t want me to be sad but that’s difficult when there are things everywhere reminding everyone what the day represents. Ten years ago I lost my Dad. I should be used to this by now but it doesn’t get easier certain times. He never got to see me get married. Although, I probably wouldn’t have ever got married because of who I am as a person. I don’t know if I will ever meet a person that I would want to marry. I’m too used to being on my own to give up that completely. It’s still doesn’t seem right that he’s going to miss most of my life stuff. He wanted me to travel but I didn’t do that. I didn’t really want to travel even when we weren’t in lockdown mode. I probably should do more but I get anxiety. I cancel things a lot as well because they turn into demands.