Everything is a mess around me but too tired to care!

I’ve just gone around vacuuming and tidying up after barely getting any sleep last night. I got back into bed for a nap. I should be able to do more to make the place look less of a tip when I wake up. I feel bad that I let it get this chaotic, but in my defence I was in no fit state to do anything yesterday and I spent half of the last week slightly not sober. I’m now sober and in a better shape to move around doing things today. I was majorly embarrassed by what happened yesterday. I don’t show it. I just focused on getting home as quickly as possible. I’ve taken 3 dosages of my medication to ensure that it doesn’t bleed that much again. I should take it as soon as I start a monthly… guess I paid the price for not taking it as instructed. It still works but I could have prevented that hugely embarrassing situation yesterday. I don’t like taking medication unless I need it. I used to take it as instructed but it didn’t stop it from happening after 6 months. It’s not just the embarrassment factor (although that prevents me from going out etc). I end up with anaemia. That makes me tired (on top of insomnia this feels like torture) and I get cracks down the sides of some finger nails. I do try to fix them by using nail glue to hold the cracks together until they grow out. It doesn’t help if my nails are brittle due to anaemia. I could take the iron supplements. I can’t risk it until I get my levels tested. Most of the time they come back borderline. I’ve not had my routine blood test for 6 months due to it coinciding with lockdown. I do need my blood test soon when my doctors finally start doing them again. I rang up last week. They don’t plan on doing routine tests for another couple of months. I’m not sure I want to go those places until the virus figures reduce. I’m gladly wanting to stay in lockdown mode. It is less stressful to not have plans. I got a lot of things done and been more chilled out. People cause stress. Currently they are having to stay 2 metres away from me. I’m not even feeling rude by distancing myself from others because it’s actually a government requirement now.