Thursday already ? Sorry I’ve not posted on the blog.

I was thinking the week was dragging when it was Wednesday. Now it feels like this week has gone quickly. I’ve been having a break from the blog. I haven’t even been for a walk in a few days. Although, as it’s been raining, that’s not like me. I just sometimes feel down about life in general. I don’t think that I will ever get over many things that have happened in my life. I eat and drink far too much at times. I didn’t find what is currently happening affected me much until recently. The last few days I feel bugged by the whole coronavirus restrictions.

There is a point where everyday things you can normally get done so easily become needed again but it’s frustrating due to things not being open or running as normally yet. It’s not just the beauty things like fixing my eyebrows. The services like doctors and dentists are going to not be as easily accessible because of backlog when people can get appointments. I have toothache regularly so I’m pretty sure I will have to go the dentist soon. I definitely need to get tests done at the doctors… that could take a while due to backlog too. I’m sure that I’m one of thousands overdue for routine tests. I’m just hoping that I don’t have something like cancer because by the time I do get a smear test it will be too late. That could cause lots of deaths for women who have missed that screening due to the lockdown. I have myself to blame too as I put it off for 6 months before lockdown hit us. I have symptoms that definitely aren’t normal which makes me more anxious about abnormalities coming back when smear screening is finally restarted. I was told that I could see a doctor but I would have to be checked for coronavirus before attending the surgery. I understand their system but it’s far too stressful having to go through two stages before being approved or denied the smear. I find the doctors and those tests stressful under normal conditions.

I’m not able to sleep again. The cat’s have been to sleep already. They’ve just woken up wanting to go outside. Cats are supposed to be nocturnal but mine have started sleeping at night. They come sleep on the bed during the day too. That is how I fall asleep with them if I haven’t slept during the night. The birds have woken up at 4 am. I think that may have been the reason that my cats wanted to go out. They like to chase them. Luckily I’ve trained them not to hurt anything that they chase. I haven’t had anything dead or injured come in with the cats for a while. I know it’s supposed to be a gift in their eyes … the last one was a live rat (adult sized) which mister killed in front of me. He looked quite pleased with himself. I wasn’t so chilled about him bringing in a rat and then killing it getting droplets of blood on the carpet. I had to clean up the mess and dispose of the rat. In a positive outlook, at the very least, he’s proven himself to be a skilled hunter. He’s quite a large cat but taking down a rat, jumping up into the window with him in his mouth (adult rats are heavy) is quite a challenge. He hasn’t brought anything in since … probably because he remembers my reaction to having to clean up at about half 3 in the morning. I was just about to get ready to go to bed after working on my open university module. That was the worse time to bring something back with him. Maybe he was trying to cheer me up but it had the opposite effect. He nearly had a bird outside my window early the other morning. I happened to catch him just in time. The poor bird had already flew into the window glass. He probably already had a headache without the cat making it a lot worse. I just typed that and literally a bird did exactly the same thing. I’m on the ground floor. It’s not like my window is in their flying path unless they’re young ones just learning to fly.