I have been civil for over 5 years about my sons adoption towards the adoptive parents. I didn’t have to be reasonable about not even getting letterbox contact approved at the adoption. I also handled the fact that I never got a reply to my letter asking how he was… which I was informed got passed on. I’m going to speak up now because they stole my son by proxy. The adoption may have been made lawful but morally it was all completely wrong. Every day of my life I’m living a reality that is not meant to be due to them adopting my son. That isn’t what they meant to do but indirectly it happened. Therefore, indirectly they have some responsibility for the trauma of having my son ripped away from me for adoption. He is biologically mine and they haven’t even remotely been decent by at least replying to my letter. Why should I be reasonable when no one has been respectful towards me? He is rightfully mine. He doesn’t belong to them. He will never be biologically similar to them. I’m going to ensure that I get him back with me even if it takes until he’s 18. I would prefer it to be sooner but I’m no longer prepared to live without what was mine and should still be mine!
7 thoughts on “This is how I truly feel but I’ve gritted my teeth and been civil for a long time.”
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You’d think it would’ve been in their interests to be more civil about it because once he does realise he’s spent his whole life being subjected to deception and lies, he’s not going to be very happy with them. Chances are this will backfire on them badly. If they don’t care then it says a lot about their fitness to be parents, which was supposed to be the whole point of this situation. But given that the decision about you was wrong in every respect, why would I assume that anything else they did was different?
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They wanted a baby. Pure selfishness.
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It’s very Dickensian to forcibly take a child from someone who’s disadvantaged just because they can. They probably silence their consciences (if they have any) by telling themselves they will give him a better life, while totally missing the point.
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A lot of them see the birth parents as scum or don’t believe a thing they say. Like our stories are wrong.
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That’s what I meant by Dickensian: this presumption that people who are comparatively disadvantaged are effectively from a lower caste and the well-off and socially connected can do what they want and take what they want with no consequences. It’s not exactly the hallmark of a civilised society. Little of what you’ve experienced is.
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I’ve seen how they talk about us in their groups.
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I’m guessing that my imagination isn’t exactly going to be over-burdened figuring out the sort of stuff they come out with. Such a pervasive attitude should tell anyone all they need to know about why the system needs reforming. But the people who benefit from the status quo have far more influence than those who don’t, which is why it doesn’t change. Were there just a few good people in the right places it wouldn’t be this way.
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