Day: May 17, 2020

I have my own issues alongside lockdown getting on my nerves. Some people seem to think that they can drink as much as they like and then message you in the middle of the night. That would have been okay if that is the only thing. However, they ended up putting me on edge all night and proceeded to hang around the area of my flat. I don’t care that your mate lives on the next block. I heard you with my windows closed. I can’t have been the only one that heard your voices between the hours of 4 and 6 am. Then I got given a lecture by another family member this morning telling me that I shouldn’t have replied to their message so that I was distanced from whatever they were doing during the night. You shouldn’t even be out in a friends car due to social distancing. There aren’t even any places open at night yet. I wasn’t letting them in to my flat so I don’t think replying to a message encouraged them at all. Stepping out now because  I have lots to catch up on since whatever others were doing caused me to be awake the whole night. I slept for a while but still tired so I’m sorry I cannot be in a reasonable mood. I nearly got my sleep pattern back to normal and now I have to start from square one again. Thank you… now please refrain from making me anxious enough to be awake all night. I’ve had enough of people’s shit and getting told that I’m becoming a disappointment like the rest of the family.

I got up a lot earlier than normal today despite going bed late. I think that it has reset enough to easily slip back into a reasonable pattern. I’m doing a few things before I go to bed tonight because I’m still behind myself. It won’t take long. I cut all my nails down because there were splits starting to appear down most of them. I don’t know if this is an autistic thing but I just cannot stand it when they’re not all of equal length. I’m not even going to focus on my eyebrows for a few weeks or they’ll get on my nerves. The blog ambassador idea is also starting to appeal to me because those that wear clothes given to them on their blogs is something I would like to do. I would love that but also don’t want to change the focus on the blog entirely because then I will be ‘just another fashion blog’. I managed not to twitch and cut my leg while shaving this week. That’s always good. This week is going to be one of them weeks due to my monthly visiting. It sucks to be female sometimes. I can’t go on walks just in case. I try to exercise at home but it just isn’t the same. I’m pale but I still need some sun. I still have some colour from the other days long walk but that will fade within another few days. I want to try to get my legs less white. Although they are rather chubby around the knee area so I don’t like exposing them. Chunky thighs also don’t make me feel any better.