I made an effort to go bed early. I still can’t sleep right now. Even the cats have fallen asleep before me and they are nocturnal animals. I feel trapped in this stupid sleep pattern. I’m doing better mentally as I’m getting more done now. I just wish that I could fix my sleep problems. I feel tired but I never properly sleep. I wake up several times even when I sleep during the day. As for my dreams, they’re just as random. I dreamt of a pond being connected to a swimming pool. That would be impossible in reality. Also, there were large crabs in the pond. I had a visit from my dad in that dream too. That isn’t unusual though because he’s visited my dreams on and off since he passed away. Maybe that is where he spends his time now. Although, more than likely, he probably spends time around trains. He knows that I didn’t particularly like trains when I tagged along with him as a child. I don’t swim and the only significance about a pond is that his sister (my aunt) has one in her garden. He didn’t seem happy in this dream. That is unusual. Someone else also appeared in the dream but I can’t say who they were on here. And, it’s not who you think. I definitely can’t tell them that they were in my dream because our relationship is professional so that would be just weird. I was also a boy in the dream which was also odd. Maybe dad thinks that I’m trying to replace him because I wished that my family was like this other persons family.
I never want to change things back when we were a proper family. I would just like things to be different in the present day but due to circumstances, for example: dad having passed away, it can never be again. I was only thinking about a family member that has just passed away recently. I remember when I was young at my nana’s funeral. I got extremely upset in the church so this family member offered to stay in the car with me at the cremation part of the funeral. 20 odd years later they are gone about the same age as my dad. They are both part of the same side of my family. I’m sure that they are all reunited now. I’m hoping that dad has made them welcome. Nana, Grandad, uncle bob etc. I was quite young when they all passed away. I was only 4 when my grandad passed. He was in my dream the night before he died. Weirdly enough, after dad passed away he appeared in a dream with my dad in the same location as the previous dream. I then found a photo of grandad in the same place as they were in that dream. It’s quite bizarre but comforting at the same time.