Day: May 14, 2020

I made an effort to fight my insomnia last night. I went to bed a lot earlier. I even slept an hour but woke up. Then I couldn’t sleep for the rest of the night. I’m also cold so turned on my electric blanket. I won’t even sleep at all if I’m too cold. I can only sleep when I’m warm. I feel tired but not enough to go back to sleep. I have a cat sleeping next to me. I wish that I could sleep like them. I disturbed Mimi by accident when I moved and she just changes her position without even opening her eyes. I wish that I could be that chilled but that isn’t happening for me. I need to put my mind to rest about certain things by it’s not possible. I keep getting nightmares about what is worrying me. It’s valid fears which means that it’s probably a ptsd type of reaction. I’m not even worried as much about the virus in comparison to other things. I can’t stop being anxious over things that revolve around my fears. The only way that I could finally chill out to be able to sleep properly again is simply unable to occur due to circumstances. The only option that I possibly have is living my life without a lot of sleep. I can’t force others to meet me half way or to even be trustworthy. I have to live with the insomnia and nightmares rather than being able to get peace.