I walked further than planned. Fed up with certain things.

I set out to go for a short daily walk. They turned into walking from Barwell to the middle of Hinckley and back. I didn’t even eat before I went out. I had a sandwich on the way home but I’m surprised how long far I managed to walk without feeling hungry. I’m on my way home while doing this blog entry. I cannot afford to not do what needs doing around the flat when I get back otherwise it will end up in much more of a mess. I needed the toilet on the way around. The supermarkets were all full of queues so I asked the little shop if I could use theirs as they did offer once. They were fine about popping in as I bought a drink and sandwich from them. I will post the walk data when I finally get back home.

I’m basically fed up of how life ‘works’. I don’t know how it’s so easy to attract people I do not want to be with but not those I actually like to be around. I feel like I’m beating off unwanted admirers constantly. The ones I always wanted didn’t want to be with me. Why can’t there be a happy medium where I actually am friends or more with people I actually want to be with? It’s like life is designed to be as frustrating and unfulfilled as possible. I also dislike how men just see me as a physical attraction and always seem to have an overarching desire to sleep with any remotely attractive girl. They just don’t seem to grow up or see any form of boundaries when the woman doesn’t want to go there with them again. I wouldn’t mind so much if I was the only one they were sniffing around but I’m aware that I wasn’t and if the others have dumped a guy then it’s should have been totally expected. Several women do NOT like to be played at once. It’s insulting to us. Plus the risk of giving all the women sexually transmitted infections or get one which will they don’t know where from because of dipping it in more than one woman sometimes on the same day. Yes I know everything. I’m not as thick as certain people think I am. I let my guard down but it’s not going to happen again. We all know why some men are friends with me in the first place just waiting for their time until they can get past the friends zone. It just is never going to happen so please don’t waste your time.

Author: Diary of a Painfully Shy Introvert

A blog written by a female diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome but suspected PDA in more recent years. Musings of a Trainee Battleaxe was created to not only create awareness of the PDA part of the spectrum; but also to educate the public hopefully creating understanding in order to stop future generations being let down and labelled negatively. Disclaimer: There may be parts of this blog which viewers may find upsetting as it contains accounts of real life events which have been quite traumatic. However, it is all to help create a sense of understanding and combat the fear surrounding all aspects of mental illness and Pathological Avoidance Syndrome (a very little understood part of the autistic spectrum).

One thought on “I walked further than planned. Fed up with certain things.”

  1. I hear a lot of frustration and having had enough with certain people, circumstances and the attempts to wrangle in appropriate and healthy romantic relationships, mutual friendships and the like. That can be so, so, so hard to deal with, especially when we feel we’re being used or made to be a product to only convey certain things when or where, and then discarded as if we were not a human being with wants, dreams, needs and a path moving forwards.

    Are there old friends you can interact with online or over the phone maybe? Maybe even building some new relationships during the quarantine from the blogosphere or other social media accounts? I’m here if you’d like to chat, too.

    I hope that you feel a little better soon and are at more ease with your relationships going forwards. Maybe even listing out what you’re looking for in relationships, what you’re attracted to and what values you’d like friends or partners to have might be a good place to start?

    Happy travels and good job on the walk! Don’t forget to eat!! Food is fuel. 🙂
    ❤ ❤ ❤


Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: