I was watching something on television earlier about shoplifters. Some of the things that were in that program was quite hurtful towards me. The fact that the young woman had an option to get her baby back in the future after he went into care at 6 months old. It didn’t say where the baby was currently placed but that’s not the point here. The point is that she was hooked on drugs and alcohol. I have seen this happen many times. There have been many cases I’ve known where children were able to stay with their parents or parents could claim them back from the system. This was in the UK, not the USA, where adoptions can’t legally be reversed. The USA has a two year period written in their law which allows a parent to reclaim their child from adopters if they can prove to a court that they are now in the position to care for them. I am referring to the UK system here. I wasn’t addicted to drink and drugs (not even painkillers at that point). I had a medical problem which affected me mentally, part of the autistic spectrum. I have since met those with Bipolar and other much more complex mental health conditions that have managed to stop their children’s adoptions (even those with babies). They still get to see their child or at least have letterbox contact. I’m not allowed despite being less of a danger than some of those others.
I NEVER did anything harmful to my son. I merely reacted to the stress that children’s services put on me. I was the victim of malicious reporting which was proven before the court proceedings commenced. I was put under that stress due to the malicious reporting. Therefore that should have proven that the whole case was bogus and discriminative against me as an autistic person. I know that things have slightly changed after myself and others challenged the councils legal team in a family court setting. That means all the cases that were mismanaged or aligned with any form of discrimination should be at least rectified for the benefit of ALL parties that were involved. I wouldn’t ask for custody of MY Son (biological is thicker than adoption paperwork as we will always be connected) at this point because it’s been too long since he got placed with the other people. I deserve at least some reconnection even if it’s just letterbox or meeting up in a formal arrangement with him and the adopters. I’m a stranger to him now because I haven’t seen him since he was 14 months old (he’s now just turned 8). I wouldn’t expect him to be alone with me until he knew me quite well and felt comfortable. At the moment this injustice has just been done to me and I was punished for reacting to something that I knew was plain unjust. They expect me to calm down, stop annoying others long term to the point of getting reported to the police etc so that I can move on with my life… but if I don’t reconnect with my son then I’ll never actually settle properly. It isn’t humanly possible to be able to settle properly after that misjustice. In the past, women who have had their babies snatched at birth have ended up in asylums because it drove them mad. I’m on antidepressants because chemically I can’t rebalance until I fix certain things or at least get a better deal than I am doing presently in regards to those situations I need to fix.
Those that haven’t previously encountered the system in England (and most of the time Wales has the same, Scotland differs in certain judicial areas) are now seeing just how much of a mess it is after the outbreak of Covid-19. Those of us that have already been involved in the system relying on services; especially social care was already aware of all the failings. We need to take the opportunity to reorganise the system after the virus outbreak has passed. The failings that have been flagged up during this crisis need to be sorted out but so does many other things. The autistic community have been talking about the repeat failing of people with our condition for a long time. We were just brushed under the carpet or made out to be untreatable/unmanageable so that the system could make an excuse not to provide services. This is our perfect opportunity to draw the systems structure right back to basics and create a system that helps, cares and actually protects vulnerable people post the coronavirus era. We need to ensure that people are helped rather than punished. This means less focus on putting people with issues through the criminal justice system, refraining from excluding those with mental health related conditions (no longer having to do so because a proper structured system is formulated to prevent those sort of situations), being more inclusive as a society in general. We need to have more accessible help systems… not just accessibility but also services that actually work to have a positive outcome for those needing their support. We need to be less financially focused when it comes to the provision of these services. People power is the right way to aim. I’m not saying that professionals shouldn’t be paid for these services but we need to make help services less of a money churning industry. Those at the top shouldn’t get paid inflated sums of money who already have enough to live on (you can see this by the size of their houses, holiday destinations, designer clothes, cars etc). Whether we like it or not, we have all been taken to the same level at the moment. This means we are effectively all in the ‘same boat’. That has never happened before in normal circumstances. This is a terrible time but everything happens for a reason. We need to use this time to create a new type of future that is more pleasant for everyone. If we just carry on with what we had pre covid-19 then all the lives lost and disruptions to our way of life will not be worth anything. We owe it to the people that worked in the system who have sadly lost their lives. They were failed too. We can’t allow others to be failed repeatedly in the future in a system that isn’t fit for purpose.