Okay, maybe I was wrong….

I attempted to play devils advocate on Instagram earlier and was actually told to go rot by one of those that tried to start on me for my comment. I basically questioned if the NHS was helping everybody who was seriously unwell by the coronavirus. I had read about a case in London where they told someone they weren’t a priority and she subsequently died the next day. I wasn’t saying that they were doing an awful job as a whole. They are totally up against it more than usual with the virus cases still climbing in numbers. I went for a walk today but I was careful. I never came into contact with anyone else. This is the only way we can ease pressure on those services. I appreciate that people think that applauding those workers at 8pm was something that people thought was respectful. I appreciate the work they’re doing without feeling the need to make any outwardly noise. The fact that I was given an angry tone back at me wasn’t necessary. We all have our different ways of showing appreciation. Some of us are more reserved. I am more reserved in how I show most of my feelings nowadays because this world doesn’t give people the option to be open without consequences. As for the whole self isolation thing. This is quite easy for me to do. I haven’t seen most of my family for years. That is the consequences of being openly autistic. Friends also have fallen out with me for being openly autistic. Many autistic people are of the same frame of mind. The current status quo is the equivalent of our normal lives. We don’t get invited to participate in social gatherings or go out with friends often. Some of this is by choice due to things that have happened in our lives due to our autism issues. Some of this is permanently enforced on us due to being banned from places or even people for ‘not being the norm’. Welcome to a taste of our lives that you are now experiencing due to regulations set by the government.

It’s so crazy and confusing at the moment / my latest assignment mark.

I filled up my cars petrol and have enough food to last at least 3 weeks. The dates are all until mid April on things that go off. I am now prepared for the new coronavirus bill to come into force over the coming days. I went for a walk trying to keep the social distancing rules as much as possible. Narrow streets are a challenge if crossing the road isn’t possible due to traffic. So many people were walking around too, a few runners were also out. I don’t normally see hardly anyone out on normal occasions when I go for a walk. The atmosphere outside was surprisingly quite relaxed and cheerful. I think we are all just rolling with it at the moment. As an autistic, these new social distancing techniques seem quite familiar to me. I feel less anxious than normal when I’m out. I think that we should incorporate some of this way of life into our lives after the pandemic is finally over. People are actually aware that others exist when they’re out and about doing the whole 2m distancing. I found that a lot of people have been so much more considerate and friendly during the last few days. If we take anything from this crisis which is positive, it should be this attitude towards fellow human beings. We are normally all wrapped up in our own lives too much to even notice that others exist. The panic buying issue is getting more controlled now that we have been told that there is enough stock available. Apart from the toilet paper and sometimes the kitchen rolls in some places, we seem to be doing slightly better. It’s difficult to get food delivery services at the moment because those self isolating are flooding the supermarkets websites and taking up all the delivery slots. I am registered with Ocado… logged onto their website earlier to find nearly 4000 people in their queue system. I wasn’t logging on to buy anything but just wondered how busy it had become at that point. I just checked a minute ago (1.15am U.K. time) and that has risen up over 9000.

It is absolutely crazy. In normal circumstances that service was very reliable. There was always delivery slots available from 6am until midnight. I managed to get my last delivery of supplies like cat litter and 60 pack of cat food from there on Sunday. The craziness kicked off last week when they had to suspend new orders because they were over capacity. I donated to their food bank scheme within that order. I didn’t want to feel guilty for being able to get the things I needed when so many others can’t at the moment. I’m self isolating more so now after seeing the younger generations being struck down by this virus, a 21 year old died that was healthy with no underlying health problems. I don’t want to risk being too close to anyone else after getting cold symptoms. I don’t know if that is a mild case of the virus. I don’t have a cough but many people haven’t developed that part of the symptoms. I always have allergies that make my nose run as if I have a cold.

I don’t feel great at the moment because I am feeling the after effects of using my vibrating toning machine. I’m going to have sore muscles in the morning when I wake up. I haven’t managed to get on the machine for a week because I felt too tired and was trying to get my assignment done. I submitted it a day early and the tutor marked it already. I got it back just after midnight. I got 60%. I passed but I’m really not enjoying this subject any longer. I have one assignment left before finishing the level 1 module. I’m definitely not sticking with this subject after this year.