Day: February 21, 2020

I woke up with a migraine. I feel a bit better now but I’m over tired due to my sleep pattern being a mess. I think that I’m starting to age too. I’m starting to find that my head is thinking as an adult not a child. I also don’t feel like a child any longer. I finally feel grown up. I feel like it’s happened quickly because I have only noticed it over the last fortnight. I also feel like I’m thinking quicker. I always was a bit slow but I seem to be sharper now. Maybe I needed the break that I’ve been giving myself. I needed space and to not feel like the world was intruding on my life. Sometimes the only true help needed is time out to yourself away from outside influences. I’m not done with that time yet either. I’m still enjoying my mental health time out. I carried on for years when I should have had a break so I’m going to be taking an extended time to myself. I need that time for my head to finally repair itself from past traumas. I’m still young enough to take it easy for the next decade. I may not feel happy at the moment but at least I am resting which in time will repair what stops me from feeling happy.

I have been listening to those binaural beats (basically healing sound waves). I actually truly smiled while listening to the  one that is supposed to remove toxins and  cleanse past traumas. I haven’t smiled due to feeling happy in years. I put on smiles for others to be pleasant. I haven’t had to mask so much while I haven’t been going out so much. I obviously don’t have to mask around the cats because they aren’t likely to start judging me. I can be myself in my own environment without fearing negative judgments. The pressures aren’t there to be ‘normal’ so I’m not getting stress buildup that affects my mental health. Those binaural beats do work but you have to listen to them regularly as it builds up in the same way as medication. I’ve only be listening to them consistently for a week. I have tried them from time to time but you need a quiet mind for them to work. I never had a peaceful mind when I tried that therapy previously.