Time is supposed to be a healer right? Then how come things are still the way that they have been for a few years? Isn’t it time that things changed? I’ve worked hard for a long time. I don’t feel that I’m getting anything good back. People wanted me to try to become normal. I have made an effort to change and at least made some progress. But, still, the restraining order remains and the council won’t take me off of the section 117 aftercare despite not receiving any services under that ‘funding’. I have been stuck on that thing since I was a teenager, maybe I used to need to be on it but certainly not now. I haven’t had any services provided to me in over 3 years. I want to be off of the clause because it has held back my life and caused me to have a lot of awful attitudes directed at me by professionals in mental health field. I can’t be cured of my autism but I’ve made a huge effort to be as ‘normal’ as possible. I am seeing no return on my efforts. I’m even off of the painkillers long term after years of going on and off them.
As for the restraining order still being in force, I have been quiet for over a year now. That would have been impossible for me at one time. I deserve forgiveness for my past screw ups. I deserve at least a time limit on the order rather indefinite because to me that means I’m plastered with it for life. There was a lot of stuff that happened but most of that was caused by the universities actions. I never had any malicious intentions. I only ever wanted a friend but I got a load of accusations thrown in my direction. I just want to remind everyone that I was still young in comparison to those that have accused me. I wasn’t mature enough to be the way that others expected and still traumatised from my past. That doesn’t go away. I had two nightmares the other night. They weren’t even related to my past but that showed my mind still isn’t completely settled.