I had another nightmare that really shook me up.

I fell asleep earlier and had the most disturbing nightmare I’ve had in a while. It hit quite close to home due to loosely mirroring waking life. A while ago my cousin on dads side never told me she was pregnant despite the fact that I asked her the question directly 3 months before her second baby was born. She told me that she didn’t want to tell me in case it upset me after what happened with my son. Her eldest was born two months after my son so they would be the same age. I’m even more upset when I see photos of a new baby without even knowing anything previously. It’s not like I didn’t ask because I just had a feeling, yet even direct questions only got complete denial as an answer. I also worked it out by mum friends comments on her profile at the time I asked. Then recently when I was talking about having another baby she was like ‘why would you want another baby’? I’m not sure that she meant it to come across in the tone that it did but I still felt totally misunderstood. I’ve not let those comments get to me so that didn’t cause the nightmare. I’ve never met her youngest son because of how I felt regarding losing my son.

Anyway, in the dream, she was horrible towards me. It seemed that way anyway. If anything, it hurt me due to the decisions that she made in this dream. I’m sure it’s not true because she only has two children in all her social networking photos. In the dream she said that she had twins in 2018. Her attitude towards me was quite distant. I stole her phone off charge in the dream and saw all the photos of those children she had never told me about. Then a random rough looking guy took the phone from me. Then at the end of the dream I received a phone call from the police due to a report where my mother was informed that I could be freely discriminated against and it wasn’t against the law. In the exact wording they said that people were free to exclude me from things just because they took a disliking to me. At the end a woman in a blue suite, curly dark hair pinned up, with a notebook in her hand was pointing to an event in a diary. We then had a fake photo where we were together smiling. She said that she would take me to this event. I woke up at that point. It may be a dream based on the last decade of my life. I woke up so unhappy so it can’t have been positive.

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