Right, this has to end.

The restraining order that has been the subject of dispute between me and the other person has to end asap. We have dragged other people into it and hurt them by accident. I have just been called out for trying to pretend that I was straight and getting a guy to fall for me. That doesn’t excuse his spreading it about with other women at the same time. I did that because I was that cut up over it still existing and not being able to see or speak to the person that I truly do stupidly still fancy despite what they did to me. I don’t care whether the person isn’t decent. The right thing to do is to apply to take it off because it is still affecting how I live my life. Then we have dragged others into the situation. It isn’t fair. I accept that the other person will never have feelings for me. I just want a chance to have the order removed. Both of our circumstances have changed since the whole situation blew up. I need to feel free so that I do not continue to be affected by what happened. I appeal to anyone who is able to change the situation (because I’m disallowed to do it directly) to finally end the order. We were both stressed for different reasons. I shouldn’t have lost my temper and said awful things. I admit that I over reacted but at the time I’d just lost my son to adoption. I was already emotionally on edge. The stuff that happened at university just tipped the balance due to the fact I’d had all I could take at that point. I have grown up now. I may even be more likable to the other person now. I didn’t do something that terrible that I deserve to have those restrictions placed on my head for life. Be fair.