I still couldn’t sleep the whole night. I’m exhausted. I don’t feel well. I’m gaining weight at a stupid rate. I am totally ashamed at how large my thighs seem to be. I feel hungry but also sick. I got up after admitting defeat at about 4am. I took a cup of tea back to bed. I’ve turned the heating on so that maybe the warmth will help me fall asleep for a couple of hours before it actually reaches the time I was planning to get up. I can’t leave my sleep pattern a mess otherwise nothing is going to get done. I tried to do the planning for my OU TMA yesterday but my head just wasn’t concentrating. I sometimes don’t feel able to concentrate on details. I have to do this when it comes to answering the questions in third person formal essay format. I just couldn’t get my brain into that mode. I sat down at the weekend and understood the material more than I did when I picked it up yesterday. I haven’t built that consistency with studying the material yet. Even the throw we had for our online tutorial admitted that a lot of it is dull and we just have to find a way through the boring parts if we want to achieve our degree. I’m finding it hard to function in every day life right now. I know that I got a negative pregnancy test multiple times but I can’t fit in a vast amount of my clothes. I haven’t got my new clothing yet. I know that the new ones will fit because I ordered them based on my current measurements, not that they are going to be revealed, I know that they are correct because I checked everything. I am not eating loads so I’m not causing myself to gain weight. I still walk, not quite as much but definitely enough not to put on weight. I only drink one small bottle of Pepsi per day. That shouldn’t be making me fat. I wish that I could sleep. I have sore skin and it is uncomfortable. The salt bath seemed like a good idea but it seems to have removed too much moisture from my skin. It’s supposed to help but it doesn’t feel like it has today.