There are days I’m even surprised that I get anything done.

I didn’t think that I would get anything done today. I got up, had breakfast, took antidepressant medication. I accidentally fell back to sleep until the afternoon because I felt exhausted (this is nothing new and I kept waking up last night). I still felt absolutely exhausted when I woke up and finally got dressed. I didn’t do a lot until much later today when I had properly woken up. I did more housework than I thought I’d be able to manage. There were tasks that I thought I would start but not finish. I changed the bed covers and sheet. I didn’t think that I would have the energy to put the new ones on but I managed to make myself do it.

I did some colouring to relieve a bit of anxiety. I went for a walk this evening. I’m not back to my long walks yet but I’m building up to those gradually. I’m not as fit as I used to be and the cold I had left me even more unfit. I ended up feeling dizzy by the time I had walked up the stairs to the carpark the other week. I never used to get out of breath climbing any stairs. I’m fine on flat ground when I’m walking but going up steps aren’t easy now. I got older, then more lazy and really have caused this unfitness myself. I don’t enjoy walking as much any more and when someone says gym to me nowadays I retreat away from those places.

I’m not majorly overweight and being skinny isn’t as important to me as it used to be. I will never be a sporty type of person because that just isn’t me. I do feel kind of sad when I look back at how fit I used to be due to walking a lot verses now when I seem to have lost my former body as well as most of that fitness. I could probably get a bit of who I used to be back but age isn’t going to make that easy. There is a huge difference between being 20 something and 30 something. I didn’t believe that this could be the case until I got to 30. I hear it gets worse after each decade. I can’t even imagine myself at 40, despite it being about 8 years away from this age. I never imagined myself aged 30 when I was early 20s though. I feel slightly better since I started taking vitamin supplements but they need time to build up, two days has made a little bit of difference.