I have a migraine which has kept coming and going throughout today. I tried to do my OU module section but I need a break until tomorrow. I have felt overwhelmed for a few days because my flat is disorganised and needs a clean. I’m sure it’s not going to be as much of a task to complete but my brain is telling me it will never get finished. I feel like I will never catch up with everything because I’ve fell behind while I wasn’t feeling up to doing anything. I still have a cold after over a fortnight. I keep getting pregnancy symptoms but I haven’t missed a period and the previous home pregnancy tests were negative.
I still can’t shake off the nagging feeling that I maybe one of those women that don’t miss a monthly or have enough hCG hormone for a home pregnancy test to detect. That does happen, albeit rare, but it’s just my luck have one of those types of pregnancies. I didn’t have any periods during my first pregnancy. I am having periods but there is something not quite the same as the ones I had before that night happened. I also had spotting in between my last two periods and I won’t go into detail about discharge but that is something I remember being similar to when I was previously pregnant. I’m starting to grow out of my bras. I haven’t put much weight on yet but a bump doesn’t start to materialise until after 3 months (first time around no one could see my bump until I was nearly 6 months). I keep feeling cramps which aren’t like those of a period. It feels like stretching of whatever is in that area. I can’t be any more than 5 weeks at the most due to when things happened. I’m going to an appointment tomorrow to get support regarding what happened the other night. I still feel affected by the other week. I don’t want to officially report it because I’m probably being over sensitive. I feel like the guy took advantage of me and the situation. I’m worried of the possible after effects, both mentally and physically. I might have caught something, find out that I’m pregnant and mentally feel haunted by the events of that night.