I’m excited but also nervous about going to London for the test shoot on Friday. I need to sleep because I’m extremely tired. I can’t sleep because I can’t wait to get there. I’m absolutely dreading the train journey. The bit when I have to catch the tube to the correct part of London is the part that is making me nervous. I have apps but I worked out the one with the shortest walk to my destination by looking at a good old fashioned map. I can’t flash my phone around too much because I might get mugged. It’s not wise to flash your valuables in the city of London. Phones are also distracting when your concentration should be on the task of not getting lost and the test shoot when I get there. This is technically a potential work opportunity. I have to act professionally. I have decided that I’m not replying to any messages on social media while I’m there. I have to call my mum every hour though because she thinks these things are dodgy. Admittedly, some of them are, but I’ve spoken to those involved with arrangements at length. They seem genuine. The ones that aren’t legit or scams don’t communicate after the initial phone call invite. They like to give out the booking date and swiftly disappear. These asked me if I had any questions on several occasions over the last week. I’m giving all the contact details to my mum just in case but they have made me feel at ease and start to believe in a positive future again. I feel my inner spark coming back. The model scout was very lovely and upbeat. I’m not used to people being nice to me or even interested in me. It has been hard to snap out of the negative mindset that the events of my life has put me in. I still get down but I see a future now. It’s taken so many years to get to this point.