Feeling the fear and doing it anyway :D

I have decided that I am going to the test shoot in London. I have booked my train tickets and currently discussing outfits with the talent scout via email. I have planned my route so that I don’t get lost on the day. I’m going to take my wheelie suitcase because I have to carry at least 8 outfits with me. I still haven’t chosen my outfits but I’m going to look through my wardrobe tomorrow. I want to have made a proper plan of each outfit a few days before the shoot. Then I can ensure I have packed the day before I have to travel. I get less anxious if I’m organised in advance. I do have my reservations because there are so many modelling scams. I’ve talked a lot to the talent scout. I have also asked many questions. I haven’t been to London for at least 9 years. Life never moves on unless you try new things. I was sick of my life remaining the same. I didn’t expect to get a call back after I sent a few photos in response to an advert.

I might have more news soon along the same lines as ‘feeling the fear and doing it anyway’. I don’t know enough information myself to release any kind of life news via the blog soon. I’m now detoxed off of the painkillers. I’m starting to feel a lot better. I’m still tired a lot but not to the point of being exhausted any more. Addiction is hard to break free from but now I’m unhooked. I’m mentally strong enough to not buy them again. That has taken me about 10 goes over the last year to cut down enough to not get cravings after going cold turkey but I finally feel like I’ve made progress. I am more content than I have been in a long time. I start my OU Law degree module in a fortnight. I have already logged into everything, booked all my online tutorials for each module. I’m trying to be organised but I’m probably going to end up not pacing myself. I’m going to try to keep up with the suggested study schedule which are broken into sections on the module control panel. It looks manageable as they’ve set it out as a topic a week. I have only committed myself to part time due to not wanting to take too much.

I’ve also lost a bit of weight over the last week, about 4lbs. The regular walking has finally paid off. I have also cut down on what I was eating. Portion control is really much more important than just exercise. I have a bad habit of piling things like cereal into bowls that are quite large. I have managed to stop this habit at the moment. I keep getting calls from a publisher saying they’ll work with me once I’ve managed to write a book. This company apparently does the publishing and promotion for authors for free and gets their cut through book sales. They basically take a cut. I’m very lucky in this respect too because they normally only deal with agents. I have lost count of how many times I’ve spoken to publishers about book ideas and they’ve told me that they only take on writers with agents. However, I have been promoting the blog and myself as a writer in general quite a lot over the last 6 months. It either pays off or it doesn’t. As I said before, it’s mostly about luck, establishing the right connections or being in the places at the right time. Outside influences can sometimes be problematic but this is why you have to keep getting up every time you fail despite it feeling hard most of the time.

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