I often get asked how I do not have hatred for those that failed me in the past. I used to feel hate for them all until very recently. I now don’t think that it is worth being angry towards those that failed me or were intentionally discriminative towards me. I just don’t have the energy to be angry or even disappointed when it comes to others any longer. I’m no longer a person that naturally bites back to anything others do or say to me. The fact that I don’t have a lot of energy physically nowadays really does help with that aspect of my former personality.
I honestly see no point in trying to convince others that have committed to be ignorant. Others aren’t going to understand certain things that they do not experience. I’m refusing to be stressed at the lack of depth of many people’s thinking capacity. I can’t make them comprehend how it is to be autistic and have mental health problems. I was hurt by the past on many occasions due to others ignorance and/or discrimination. I’m never going to be totally over those times but I won’t hold it against anyone who may pop up from my past due to circumstances or just pure chance. I now live in the area that I grew up in which means I could cross paths with people that haven’t always treated me very well (or visa versa) but the past is not now.
I don’t blame others for their weaknesses and things that they do not understand. I’m happy to explain things and teach them to fill in their knowledge/understanding of autism and/or mental health issues if they want to listen but anything that has happened isn’t something that I harbour hatred or anger about whatsoever now.