Another restless night.

I feel extremely tired but only managed to sleep for about an hour earlier. I can’t do this insomnia thing any longer. I feel sick due to tiredness. I wish that the GP still gave out sleeping tablets because I could do with them to knock me out. I could get a sleep pattern if I used them to give me enough hours sleep for a few nights. I don’t sleep properly. I’ve never been able to sleep a full night without waking up. Even as a child this was the case. I think that half my issues are caused by not being able to sleep consistently. I cannot stand feelings of being exhausted. That is stressful and makes me feel depressed. I feel tortured by my own brains inability to sleep properly. I just want to be able to sleep for hours rather than waking up regularly. The smell of my bedroom floor isn’t helping right now. I spilt my breakfast cereal milk. I got it up but it’s smelling like gone off milk. I’m going to have to scrub it again because the smell is making me more unable to settle. I am certainly not cleaning the carpet at half 3 in the morning. I’m going to have to sleep on the other side of my double bed so that I can’t smell it. I’m able to hear and smell stuff extremely well. I think that is part of my autism. It can be quite annoying when smells and sounds are intense to me but doesn’t bother others. I don’t like to be overly sensitive because it seems highly strung to others. I need sleep so badly. I can feel the bags collected under my eyes. I’d do anything to be able to have sleeping tablets prescribed but the laws changed so doctors now won’t give them out unless someone has an officially diagnosed sleep disorder. Even then, getting them from your GP is extremely rare now. 

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