I don’t want to be awake today because I’m in a lot of pain. I have taken something for it but it isn’t going away. I had to go out to get essentials like milk. I think that I got everything but I couldn’t wait to get back home due to feeling like my insides… Read More I don’t want to be awake today 😦

I am definitely not going to be having another child any time soon. I got my monthly today. I am quite disappointed about not getting pregnant. I won’t let it get me down because it was obviously not meant to be at this point. It wasn’t the best time due to starting my open university… Read More Disappointing day, nevertheless I’m not letting it get me down!

I only had 3 hours sleep this morning. I went for a long walk and managed to get quite a few things done. I managed to go for a walk before the rain got too heavy. However, driving home tonight was like being in a boat. There is so much water on the roads. I’m… Read More I’m getting better 🙂 Blissful existence is finally possible. 32 year journey to spiritual balance in this crazy world.

I have tried hard to sleep but I can’t switch off. I can’t say what is on my mind. I simply cannot go into this particular thing right now. I don’t want to jinx anything. I’m restless for a reason but I don’t think that being public about details is a good idea yet. I’m… Read More I can’t sleep tonight…

I have always wondered where my hair, curvy bits and some of my other features came from. It looks like I get these things from my origins. I am pale. I’m as white as someone can be who isn’t albino. I didn’t think I had black ancestry. I mostly came back European which is what… Read More My DNA Origins result…. I am a tiny bit black.

I did some research today about the place I was set to attend for the test shoot tomorrow. I found evidence that it was a scam. I just had a bad feeling lingering in my head about it. I’m not even going to put myself in that position. Apparently, I can get the train tickets… Read More Tomorrow is not happening now.

I’m excited but also nervous about going to London for the test shoot on Friday. I need to sleep because I’m extremely tired. I can’t sleep because I can’t wait to get there. I’m absolutely dreading the train journey. The bit when I have to catch the tube to the correct part of London is… Read More I need sleep but I can’t sleep… annoying!

I’m not telling others to not believe someone’s version of events. I am just pointing out that what they said about me stalking them isn’t entirely true. I made a series of mistakes with them. I just want to be able to move on without the fear that I may be being judged due to… Read More A few things which need saying…

I just printed all the stuff for Friday’s test shoot. I have to go to the local library due to not having a printer at home. I have to call a photographer when I get home because he has to discuss various things with me before the shoot. I don’t particularly like to use the… Read More Organised for once…

I have made the decision that I definitely want another child in the future. I’ve discussed the topic with others. I am aware that the GP routinely refers pregnant women to children’s services as soon as their pregnancy is medically confirmed if they’ve previously had a child forcibly adopted. Those that are always saying that… Read More I will get the chance to be a Mother again. And I will not be intimidated by the system next time.