Sometimes sleeping is impossible.

I haven’t slept all night. I have a lot on my mind. The worse part is being tired but not sleeping. I feel tired but my brain doesn’t switch off enough for me to actually get to sleep. Unanswered questions about things that have happened bug me. I would be more settled if I knew the full details of what went on at the university. I always got the word coercion in my head when I concentrated on trying to intuitively pick up the answer. It would put my mind at rest if I knew for sure. I don’t want to cause trouble. I only want to know things to be able to sleep properly. I would also sleep better if I heard from my son’s adoptive parents once in a while. I can’t move on until my mind can make sense of everything and things are somewhat resolved. I’m not overly sensitive. I just can’t rest until things are resolved and I know everything that happened. 

Emails everywhere!

It took me 3 hours to clear out the spam from my email inbox today. I had thousands that had built up over months. I haven’t done a lot today. I went for a quiet walk but bumped into the carnival procession crowds in the town centre so I watched it go passed me and then the rest of my walk was quiet. I did some exercises too because I’m trying to tone up again and lose a bit of weight. I’m watching Netflix again before I go to sleep.  I really shouldn’t but it’s a habit now.