I have woken up feeling really rough so forgive me if I’m a little brutal in the way that I write this post. I’m bloated and my hormones are making me feel completely depressed. I will be fine in a few days. This is ‘normal’ for me at this time every single month. On the plus side, if you want me to take up an issue and give someone a massive telling off, this is the perfect time to approach me. There is a two week window between 15th/16th and 25th/26th where I can completely unleash the beast within on anyone that upsets me. I’m not physically violent. I will either have a melt down or get angry with someone and not mince my words whatsoever. They are also starting to give out cheaper versions of antidepressant brands so I’m not sure if that is going to have any effect on me. I got given the cheaper brand of my antidepressant last time I went to pick it up from the chemist. I’m not sure if they’re suiting me in the long term anyway but I still need to go see my GP about it at some point next month. I’m still depressed on them but there is really no targeted way of treating hormonal issues using medication. I wish that someone would do research into hormone control at the very least.
Anyway, back to today’s issue. The council are refusing to communicate with my mother regarding a complaint that I’m not getting anything under the section 117 aftercare. This has been going on for over two years now. They wrote back to her saying that we both have to prove our identity before they’ll discuss the complaint with us. However, when I last wrote to them, this isn’t what they said to me. I was sent a letter back telling me that they had passed it onto the local mental health team because their psychiatrists had to make a decision whether I stayed on it or not. I never heard back from that team. That letter was forwarded to that team at least three months ago. The fact that the council wrote back two different things is implying that they’re stringing us along until we give up with the complaint.
I barely sleep at the moment. I do need services but they’re just unhelpful because there is no resources around the local area. There never has been around here. I tried to help myself but I can’t shake off how I feel all the time. There are times when I can’t do things because I’m too anxious to even leave the house. I can’t function enough to live a normal life. I don’t like just ‘existing’ but with the lack of proper services for autism and mental health doesn’t really give me a lot of choice. I feel like I’m struggling to get through the days. Then I can’t sleep properly at night. I either don’t sleep for hours on end or keep waking up. I’m being relied on to take someone else to a hospital appointment tomorrow because they don’t like driving in the city. I can’t back out because there is no one else to do it. I have to make myself function somehow.