I tried to be reasonable but it didn’t work. Time for plan B to make my son part of my future life.

I never heard anything from the letter I sent to my sons adoptive parents regarding the contact suggestion. I tried to be reasonable but it’s obvious that these people that adopted him (or stole him by proxy using the medium of a court) aren’t decent like I was led to believe. Plan A has well and truly not worked and it probably never will as I’ve tried twice over the last five years now. I don’t know what plan B is going to be yet but it has to be a lot more assertive. I can’t just sit back and hope that the people that adopted my child as a toddler develop a conscience. I can’t make plan B too much though. It isn’t practical to track my son’s adoptive parents down and ask the people in person. I’ve got nothing to go on and no information will be available to me or him until he reaches 18. Even at that point the local council and adoption agencies are as unhelpful as possible.

Just because a court stamped their plan and believed social workers doesn’t mean the decision was fair. Their information was highly inaccurate and they basically turned around telling me it didn’t matter because the adoption had to happen. I got told by my barrister that I wasn’t allowed to talk about what happened in the final hearing when the placement order was obtained otherwise I’d be locked up for a very long time. That is why I’ve only ever published outlines on here rather than all the details said in court or in the bundle for the court on the day the council got permission to place my son for adoption via a placement order. I did talk about it and I ended up getting sent to prison. That shows how much the system are trying to hide from others. I’m tired all the time. I need some hope to face the future which is why I need my son in my life even if it’s just one letter per year that I was never granted when the adoption order went through. I probably would have got that option if I hadn’t fought the adoption from being finalised for a whole year. I wish people could see that I’m not the awful one. I stuck up for myself and tried to keep my son with his birth family but the social workers were hell bent on the adoption option despite legally having to parallel plan. We tried to work with them but they used aspects of my autism telling me I had to lose my condition otherwise I would lose my child. I was pushed over the edge by the services constant pressure which led to me saying that I thought I’d hurt him by accident.

I was a scared new mum and I never deserved to lose my first child regardless whether I had autism and various labels. Those adoptive parents have no idea of the trauma I had to go through so that they could have a family. I had my baby practically snatched from me but according to the law it’s morally excusable. The law may allow it but what was done to me was extreme emotional abuse.