Day: August 9, 2019

The fact that I didn’t have a lot of sleep last night hasn’t helped not getting tired towards the end of the day. I’m already in bed at half ten after forcing myself to do bits that needed doing (eg. washing up, putting the washing machine on, cleaning teeth). I don’t know how to describe the feeling I get when fighting this tiredness. I’m not actually in pain physically but any task feels like I’m climbing a mountain. I caught up on the few things I’d planned to do today if I hadn’t had the appointment that never materialised. The cats litter is now changed for the week. And, I did some muscle exercises (I’m now regretting the exercising because the wave of tiredness hit me big time after I had finished them). It doesn’t help when I’ve not slept properly the previous night either. I got anxious about what I had on today but then that appointment never happened.

I feel completely overwhelmed when I go out at the moment which doesn’t help me not to get tired or anxious easily. I don’t know if anyone else has noticed how fast things are moving in every day life. It’s like being on a merry-go-round with no form of escape. As someone who feels everything it is stressful for me to even go out nowadays. I’m quite sure that it never used to be that much of a sensory overload in the outside world. The energies around us are so much stronger and they feel so much more sombre. I try telling myself that I’m probably just depressed but I’m sure things have changed out there recently.

I’m not even able to keep my eyes open much longer so I’m going stop typing now.

I had an appointment arranged with an organisation today. I drove there only to find that the place was closed and the person I was supposed to see had apparently left yesterday. The arrangements was only made via my other advisor on Wednesday. I met an IT technician who told me no one was there today. One advisor was on holiday and the other he heard had left.  I’ve since had this confirmed via text from the advisor that isn’t based locally. I am not very impressed that no one told me it was cancelled before I got there. I didn’t have to go out and I had other things to do around the flat. Also, I could have done with doing muscle exercises because I haven’t done them in a week. I didn’t feel like going out today but I got up despite feeling awful due to not being able to sleep properly last night.