I am aware of what has been said behind my back.

I have been told what has been said behind my back by certain internet friends whom I have previously given the benefit of the doubt. I’m not prepared to do that again. I will be blocking a few people on social networks. Suddenly it all makes sense about some of the comments made to me from third parties a while ago. They’ve been saying that I’ve said things I haven’t behind my back. This makes me look a right cow. I don’t need this while I’m trying to rebuild my life. I am kind to everyone and stick up for whoever I feel is being unfairly treated. This is due to how I have been treated in life. That doesn’t invite others to say to people that I have said certain things that I know I haven’t said. I barely speak to the person in question and I only know them online. I don’t want people getting involved with my family or saying I’ve said things about them when I haven’t. The stuff that I got told today was news to me. I didn’t say these particular things. I know that others around me were saying similar things about 6 months ago. I would like to point out that none of these supposed views came from me. I’d appreciate it if people didn’t discuss me or anything to do with me. There is gossip which is every day tittle tattle and then there is the more malicious side when things are made up and spread to purely cause trouble. I am asking nicely that whoever is doing it (I know that it has came from at least one person – the one that I have blocked) stops saying stuff right now. I don’t mind being disliked for things I’ve actually said, but when I haven’t said those things it is extremely unfair. I have a public persona because of the blog but you’re not welcome to get involved in my private life. Thank you.

Writing a book somehow never happens :S

I found so many bits of book plot planning in notepads and on bits of paper while clearing out things. They all just never developed into anything but a few pages long. Those ideas weren’t good enough to fill a whole book. I have had many people tell me I’m good at writing but I’m doubtful of that when I can’t even flow ideas enough to fill a book. I’m having brain fog a lot right now which makes thinking in general quite difficult. I don’t know if it is the medication I have to take at certain times due to health issues. I have been on medication for a few days and felt like I’m in a haze or not really within myself. I drift off somewhere far away in my head. That isn’t as pleasant as it may sound. I don’t like feeling separated from myself. I like to be totally together because I can function better then. I’m also tired a lot  anyway. This doesn’t help functioning in daily life. Everything just feels like such an uphill task. Writing a book is such a complex thing to do. It may look simple but when you start scribbling out ideas it becomes apparent that the storyline can’t be spread out into a book. The annoying part of this inability to write a book issue is the fact that I previously wrote and self published a book as a teenager. I’m now in my early thirties but I’m finding it impossible at this age. If anyone wants to read my previous book, it’s available from lulu.com: Tortured Soul: A Female Aspie’s Story. It is Part I but at times like this I worry there’s never going to be a Part II.