Sometimes it’s worth not accepting an issue… not often, but in this case it was okay.

I’ve had an update from my advocate regarding the De Montfort University’s student finance bill which I was sure was a debt I didn’t owe due to the circumstances regarding my tuition. I was right to dispute it. The university should have returned the money to student finance because the funds were put into their accounts in April 2015. I had been withdrawn completely. I wasn’t even on suspension at that point. They had previously returned my loan to student finance when I was suspended for the year but then I ended up withdrawn by April. They shouldn’t have been given it back in any case because it was suspended for a year, which meant the finance too. I don’t know why or how it got given back to the university but it shouldn’t have been. I was 99% sure that I was right. I was told by many people that I shouldn’t dispute it. I’m glad that in this case I didn’t listen, because I was right.

I have also made an attempt to get an agreement for letterbox contact with my son and his adoptive parents. I’m hoping that I can get an informal agreement but his adoptive parents need to agree. I can’t make that happen but all I can do is to be decent towards them every time I approach them via the post room. I’ve had something passed on previously when I tried a few years ago. I sent Jonny a little keepsake card in this letter because I feel that as it he gets older it is important that he knows his birth mother still thinks about him despite the time that has passed. I can’t believe that he is 7 years old already. I can’t imagine what he would look like today. He will always be a blond toddler in my head because that is what he looked like last time I saw him. I really want some form of connection with him when he’s old enough to make his own decisions. I may have to wait a few more years depending on what the other parties feel in regard to my informal letterbox contact arrangement proposal. The best parts of life are worth the wait, though. I may even have to wait until he turns 18 if the adoptive parents aren’t comfortable with my proposed idea. I only have limited rights as a birth parent. I cannot push them. I can only make an effort hoping that they realise I’m not a threat to them and I don’t have any ulterior motives. 

One thought on “Sometimes it’s worth not accepting an issue… not often, but in this case it was okay.

  1. That last one percent …

    “The best parts of life are worth the wait, though. I may even have to wait until he turns 18 if the adoptive parents aren’t comfortable with my proposed idea. I only have limited rights as a birth parent. I cannot push them. I can only make an effort hoping that they realise I’m not a threat to them and I don’t have any ulterior motives.”

    And of course Prince George is a year younger than your son.

    You do have rights.

    No motive other than love for your kid and desire to see him flourish.

    And we know kids flourish with the love of their community.

    Like

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