I’m over my issues.

I developed my issues because of the desire to have friends. Well, this means my issues are now fixed. I am done with that desire completely. This is due to how I was treated and losing everything I valued due to people seeing me as too interested. Then getting the wrong idea and reporting me to either social services or the police. I obsessively do not want friends now. I know what society is like now. I know how many people are psychopaths or narcissists out there now. I could have had it all if I hadn’t had the desire to have friends. I wouldn’t be seen as a criminal or stuck under social service clauses. I won’t ever be rich because I will never get a top job with my record. I had my family taken away because of so called friends who turned out to be sociopaths reporting me to social services behind my back while pretending to be supportive to my face. I won’t ever have the chance to have a family again because that means being in a relationship. That won’t happen if I don’t even want friendships. 

3 thoughts on “I’m over my issues.

  1. Villanelle:

    Definitely more narcissists than autists, that’s for sure! 1% of narcissists – 0.12 of a particular kind of autistic without language or cognitive impairment.

    And I think 3/100 psycho/sociopaths? [1 in a hundred women; 2 in a hundred men: source the late Tim Field – anti-workplace-bullying advocate].

    And isn’t it sad that those people have the top jobs and aren’t under social clauses or accusations of criminality except among their close ones [intimate terrorism].

    “I had my family taken away because of so called friends who turned out to be sociopaths reporting me to social services behind my back while pretending to be supportive to my face.”

    And even if I thought I was done being friends with anyone; people still want to be friends – or at least friendly acquaintances – with me.

    The desire to have friends and be a friend is such a strong one; especially when other desires are attenuated or taken away.

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    1. I think we’re social creatures so it’s quite difficult to withdraw completely. It’s an evolutionary thing and I guess sociopaths and the like are a bit of an anomaly in that regard; they make us retreat and fear normal human company but that isolation can be even worse than the abuse. It’s further compounded by the apparent thing where we gravitate towards what’s familiar on the basis that it feels “safe”, but for those of us from an abusive background it’s anything but, meaning that the subsequent experiences we subconsciously select simply reinforce the negativity we’ve already experienced. It’s easy to describe the problem but less easy to figure out the solution, because dealing with one’s emotional logic is a bit like herding cats.

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