I haven’t slept all night because I’m so stressed about having to go back to court for the application by probation to delete unpaid work requirement on the community order. I literally feel ill just thinking about it. I’ve tried to stay out of trouble. I still get told I have to return to a place that gives me severe anxiety and stress up to the point that it makes me feel sick and sometimes be sick. I think that this is unfair. They know that I have autism which will make attending court detrimental to my health. They summon me regardless of knowing those facts. I started getting stress migraines a few hours after receiving that document. I’m getting another migraine now only 12 hours after the last one. I have paid my dues after everything that happened. I was punished several times over and I deserve a break. I desperately need a rest. This hasn’t been a possibility in over two years because of everything that has gone on. I’m starting to be affected by not being able to rest in two years. I’m always ill and that isn’t fair. I wish that everything could be put to bed. I know the other person involved in that situation will never go and tell the police that they got it all wrong because they’ve convinced themselves that they got it right. I’m still suffering the consequences of their misjudgments. They could have helped me but decided that I was unworthy of supporting because I said horrible things to them in anger after feeling cornered. It has all gone on long enough now. There isn’t going to be any pleasantness for anyone involved while things remain as they are currently. Things have to change because all this stuff relating to what happened isn’t good for me. I may act chilled a lot but this is a mask. That mask doesn’t stop me getting ill from stress and anxiety, in this case I’m terrified so it’s having a worse effect on me.