I have tried to sort out the issues today.

I have attempted to sort out the issues today between certain people for the interests of autism acceptance. I have had another situation brought to my attention which has a detrimental affect on our goal. I’m not sure that it has worked but I’ve advocated on both sides trying to appeal to both perceptions of the involved parties. I’m hoping that a middle ground can be met without all hell proceeding to break out. I have tried my hardest anyway, I’m extremely exhausted just thinking about the potential fallouts for those of us with innocent intentions. I can’t even do bits of my housework today. I have no energy after getting stressed about the goal of acceptance being reached due to various people attacking each other on a personal level. I hate all that crap and I still am eaten by guilt at the things I’ve done in the past due to being upset. I also get stressed because I don’t want to be seen as the same. That is the bit that stresses me out the most. I have always tried to do things for the right reasons. I haven’t been vindictive on purpose and I’m not a bad person. I never would condone any of the stuff that has been going on over many years if I had been aware of the actions carried out by others. I disassociate myself away from really vicious and cruel attack’s others have made in the name of autism acceptance. Mob behaviour, setting up people with lies etc. I never had those intentions. I purely just wanted a friend and said things when I was hurting that wasn’t very nice but would never go out to destroy another. I am not like these activists. It distressed me even to think that anyone ever assumed I was the same.

I may have been a negative example back in past.

I would like to apologise if I have been a negative example for others in the past when it has come to autism activism. I was having a conversation today about how certain other activists have acted towards people and the trouble that they’ve caused a particular person. I’m not mentioning any names because I wouldn’t want to have a detrimental affect on anyone’s followers. It isn’t fair that I mention their name because they could lose a percentage of those that follow them on social media (they have a lot more followers than me due to making youtube videos rather than blogging in the written word.

I am ashamed at the type of activist group that we have become in more recent years. Since when was our goal to launch personal attacks on people to achieve our goal of acceptance? There is too much fighting and attacking each other, not enough finding some common ground. I openly admit that I haven’t always made the right choices when I was feeling hurt and betrayed. The things that I did were complete accidents compared to what I have heard about today. The things that have been done in the name of activism to obtain autism acceptance seem to have become extremely vicious and vindictive. These are being carried out by females on the autistic spectrum. That gives us all a bad name! I totally understand that being a female on the spectrum can be somewhat harder when hormones are thrown into the mix but we are fighting for our acceptance. Acceptance won’t happen if certain individuals launch attacks and hate campaigns against those that have wronged them. It is one thing to behave horrendously towards others when you’re emotionally suffering but it seems that these things are being done deliberately to ‘teach someone a lesson’. We are not the mafia or any other kind of gangster mobs.

I have made my mistakes due to things that have happened in life, but at least I feel remorseful! I still hate myself for the things that I have done. The others act like they enjoy the campaigns against others and find it a thrill to destroy another person’s life. I don’t know how others can do that. I have no idea how they manage to sleep properly. Also, those of us that genuinely make mistakes get a load of punishment sanctions by society because of those that are only in it to cause issues. I have always passionately tried to do the activism things for a positive reason (even though I have sometimes failed). I hate division between people. The UK is more divided than it has ever been for many years. The whole Brexit situation has fuelled hate towards those of us who are different in any kind of way. It hasn’t just been foreign nationals etc who have got abusive things said or done to them. It is just like everyone has assumed that it suddenly okay to express the full extent of their prejudices. We need to quit attacking each other. The current climate is strained enough without activists doing the above actions.