“The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing”. -Albert Einstein

Those that watch others doing evil without doing anything are enabling those acts. This makes those that do nothing against what is going on within society just as bad as those doing these things. I have read a lot of things written by parents on autism groups regarding PDA autistic children starting to display violence when they’re about to reach their teenage years. Some of those parents have resorted to calling the police on their own children. Others are putting their children into residential care because they cannot keep them at home due to violent outbursts.

The issues are being caused by our current school system. Our schools are more demanding than in the ’90s and early 2000s when I was at school. However, even the adult education system has the same structure which causes anger issues that lead to physical violence in those susceptible to physically acting out their aggression. The education system punishes these autistic children (adults in the higher education) for their differences constantly until the point where those individuals feel suffocated by those around them constantly pecking them to act ‘normal’. This creates behaviour that is extreme similar to the level of a shaken cola bottle. That is what happened to me several times in my life. These individuals have been masking how stressed they’ve become by others pushing them to act/communicate normally.

Then we get to the part of these situations where others stand by watching what is happening but do or say nothing. That makes these people just as bad as those that are actually doing the wrong things. The usage of non-disclosure agreements within the system is also not helping to stop abusive practices towards vulnerable adults.

I remember when I was going through what happened with my son after he was born. I went everywhere to try to get help for my autism combined with post natal depression so that my son wouldn’t be taken into care, let alone adopted. I never got anything. I was given antidepressants and every health care professional involved in my son’s case was against me ever being a mother right from when I was first pregnant. I was offered an abortion when adult mental health services found out that I was pregnant initially. The social worker suggested that option and particularly pushed the case for abortion rather than any other alternative. I found myself referred to child protection services because I told them I was keeping my baby. I attended some meetings during my pregnancy due to the pre-birth plan which were really distressing. I was constantly attacked at these meetings about aspects of my disability. I was in a room full of professionals on my own while I was living down south. I felt bullied and they made me not want to be a mum. I tried to tell my family members what had happened. There was only one time that I got upset by one of those meetings when they turned on the pressure quite a lot and I rang my mum crying down the phone. That wasn’t a usual reaction for me but at this professional meeting I felt attacked to the point where I actually ran out the room, out of the building and back to my home. The professionals (including my own social worker) didn’t even bother to check on me in case anything had happened despite me being about seven months pregnant. 

With regard to my school days, adult education, social services involvement and the university situation, there were many opportunities for others to step in and stop myself and others being mistreated. That never happened because people were too afraid of losing their jobs etc, therefore wrongdoing was unchallenged. Instead, I was scapegoated for reacting to the horrendous actions and bullying from those places. I didn’t deserve anything I experienced. I’m never going to completely lose my autism traits and bullying tactics won’t help in that department either. I know that I’m innocent despite being told to plead guilty to things over the years. I reacted to how I was treated. I was legitimately angry over how I had been treated. I do not deserve to be punished the rest of my life. I don’t get to see my son nor even get letterbox contact due to it being a closed adoption. I also have a restraining order against me for life which was caused by the university’s actions. I just need some form of justice. I do not deserve the comments and assumptions that I’ve had directed at me. I don’t deserve to be seen as an awful unwanted person. I’m certainly not scary. I get bullied due to being a weakling and not having the ability to stick up for myself. I always hope that others will give me some justice by legally fixing everything but I won’t get that from the selfish individuals that have stated certain awful assumptions about me to everyone on Twitter previously. How would others like to be on the receiving end of harassment and stalking accusations from those that they’ve turned to for help during times that they were being bullied by the system? They see my alleged behaviour as evil but that is exactly what others have actually done to me during my life! There is no justification for those actions but the fact that those accusers are evil and really haven’t a clue about autism whatsoever. I don’t have a malicious bone in my body and the assumptions made about me deeply hurt me especially when they are put on a public forum.