We are all familiar with the term ‘vulnerable adult’. This terminology was created initially to give disadvantaged adults (e.g. disabled, elderly etc) protection against being treated unfavourably. Those of us within the system who are categorised as vulnerable know that this couldn’t be more far from the reality of how we actually get treated.
I tried to go through the proper channels to sort out the university situation. I tried to apply for the restorative justice route just to get a chance to meet with the other party so that I could put my mind at rest and to stop it adding to my PTSD symptoms. This was three years ago. I was ignored by everyone that I approached. The restraining order was in force by that time and I was told that this option wouldn’t be allowed as it was going against a courts decision. I tried to do things the right way but this system made it as difficult as possible. I was pushed to try to fix it myself which is why it spiralled.
I never got the chance to put my mind at rest. I told the services exactly what I needed to be mentally repaired but they ignored me. They could see me getting more distressed but still ignored what I needed to have set up. I am still no more settled regarding the whole thing because I’ve heard opposite things from third parties throughout the years. For instance, one source told me that the other person wanted to come talk to me at the start but my support service didn’t allow them to do so. Then the other source (which I think was part of my support service) told me that the other person didn’t want to speak to me. I don’t know which of those is true, or indeed, if any of those are the truth. I need to know the truth because being fed conflicting information is just fuelling my PTSD side. I just want to know everything to put my mind at rest. I just want to feel like I’m not hated so that I don’t have a hatred for myself any longer. This is important for my future. I tried to explain this when I was attempting to go through the proper channels to get a restorative justice type meeting. I had no sinister intentions at all and if they’d have listened, set up what was needed etc… then the rest of the breaches wouldn’t have kept happening.
I find that we do get ignored as vulnerable adults. Then the system throws the sole blame of whatever messes occur due to their inability to listen and act appropriately at us. I’m sure a lot of other vulnerable adults have ended up being sent to prison due to parts of the system not listening to them. I feel like I’m invisible unless someone else (or the system) wants to scapegoat me for something that has gone wrong etc. I’m used to being ignored, even when I’m asking a perfectly reasonable question etc. I have feelings too. The system fails to see that anyone within the vulnerable adult category actually has feelings or even an opinion. Our opinions/views do not exist to the system that is suppose to support us a matter of legal obligation. Then they use the lack of funding excuse as a reason to let so many of us down. That may be legitimate… however, it takes no funding to just listen and take our needs into account before we end up distressed.