I felt like I was fighting tiredness all day. I had plans made in my absence which I was expected to be at a certain place by a specified time. The task was quite important but I wasn’t that popular when I arrived later than ‘the plan’. I had to struggle through the whole day doing what had been arranged. I felt so tired that it was painful to stay awake at one point. I keep feeling sick which got really intense when I was that tired. I wasn’t doing the task on my own so that was helpful while I was trying to fight this wave of tiredness.
I can’t even think in a coherent way right now. It is like my brain has switched off to build up some energy. Brain fog is absolutely a real concept. It feels like my brain is fogged up when extreme exhaustion mode hits me. There is an aspect of pleasantness about my brain switching off for once because it doesn’t quit thinking about stuff constantly most of the time. Therefore it can be nice to have a break from my overactive mind at the times my brain fogs. This is one night that I could not wait to get to my bed because I feel like I’ve wanted to go to sleep all day. I absolutely love sleep when I don’t have nightmares. I know that I can’t possibly have a nightmare if my brain is too tired to function.
Then there are people suggesting that I go to the gym more to make my membership worth the money. I am aware that I didn’t go last week. I haven’t felt well or had time to go there. I’m definitely going to go at least once this week. Again, it is hard to keep up with any exercise routine when I have illnesses that come and go. I can’t even do every day tasks well when I get an exhaustion spell hit me. It can last for days sometimes. That feels like I’m climbing a mountain just functioning throughout those days. I do want to tone up and lose some weight but I have to look after myself too. I eat regularly otherwise I start to feel weak. I cannot ‘diet’ because it makes me ill. I used to be able to go through the whole day without any food until an evening meal. I have to eat often nowadays so that I can stop feeling weak. I have to maintain the balance so that my body isn’t stressed. I used to believe that I could just push myself so hard but it did me no good. I try not to push myself to the point where it results in me getting physically and mentally stressed now.