I have had many people question whether I’m autistic. Then they assume that I am a supporter of ABA because of some of the things that I have said. I’m certainly not in support of ABA therapy. The only reason I have an ability to mask to a high standard is due to the not being allowed to express my autistic traits without punishment from society. That was aimed at me from approximately the age of 11 when I wasn’t even diagnosed. That has resulted in me having an attitude to push myself to be normal. I must admit that I am not always successful when it comes to pushing myself. I do start to feel ill after a while of making myself function neurotypically. I should wear my tinted glasses on a daily basis but I didn’t for the last fortnight which resulted in a severe migraine yesterday. I had to go to bed early because I couldn’t do anything without making my migraine worse.
I suffer from phone anxiety as part of my autism. However, if I have to sort things out over the phone because I know that it is quicker, I will make myself do it. I prefer to only use the phone for business and professional arrangements. I talk to friends via text, email or other written communications. It can be a bit here and there in regards to using the phone but I make myself do it.
I don’t barely go out socially because I prefer to be alone. That is partly due to what I’ve been through but I also don’t mind being alone any more. I used to not like being alone when I was younger.
I don’t believe in ABA techniques. It is just how I’ve had to live my life. I’ve made myself adapt due to the fact that I know those around me treating me like I’m defective because of my weaknesses. I have been trying to also make myself as normal as possible to get off of the Section 117 aftercare as I have to convince the psychiatrist. It will probably be easier now that there are plans to take autism off of the mental illness list. The council hasn’t given me the services this funds for at least two years now. I will never get rid of my autism and this means their criteria is unfair on me. This gives them the excuse to keep me restricted for life because I won’t be undiagnosed with autism. I got a letter back from my enquiry today telling me that they passed it on to the department in charge of this issue. I now have to wait for that department to send me a letter back to arrange an appointment.