I went out to get my eyebrows threaded (they were a mess). Then I decided to have my nails manicured. I went to a place that has just opened. I wasn’t really expecting to get into a conversation with the person who owned the salon while my nails were being done. The people running those places don’t tend to speak good enough English to be able to have a conversation with them. Anyway, I did get talking to them about life things. I told them that I have had a child but he was adopted. This came up because she had her toddler in there that was walking around. The other person in there was keeping an eye on him. She asked me what I did for a living. I replied unemployed labelled as disabled. We ended up discussing how I could finally be free of the government if I took myself out of the benefit system by getting some kind of skill. That I should get off all of the medications I’m prescribed due to the fact that they poison your body. I already know that about our medications. I have attempted to wean myself off them regularly throughout the years, especially antidepressants. I don’t even want to be on the iron tablets eventually. This is why they are all so skinny in Asian cultures (China etc) because they do not have these medications over there. Apparently other countries are better to live in to get away from government ownership via the benefit system. I would love to move out of this country but I need to be brave enough. I need more confidence to take a risk. I’m kind of risk avoiding due to things that have happened over the past 4 or more years. I now have to stay in the UK for the next 6 years while I do my Open University from October this year. I haven’t thought of a plan further than that. I know that I don’t want to be on benefits or classed as disabled the whole of my life due to mainly the stigma. I also want to feel like I have progressed in life a bit more. I was okay with my social worker applying for benefit support when I was a teenager but now I feel left out more and more. I don’t want to be useless because I’m a caring person.
The best part of this conversation was that I got my manicure for only 8 pounds because she felt sorry for the things I had experienced. I don’t want people to feel sorry for me. I hate that but I wasn’t going to say no to that as it should have been 15 pounds with 20% off.