Day: April 28, 2019

I have been revising for my exam for 2 hours. I need a break for a while now. I literally am developing brain ache. I can’t possibly allow myself to fail this exam again. I missed it the first time around due to life issues. Then the next time I failed to pass the portfolio when I attempted to pass it ‘inside’ (although this environment was horrendously anxiety causing for me so that was probably environmental reason why I didn’t pass).

I plan to actually celebrate if I manage to pass this time because I will just be so relieved and happy. I can finally focus on other areas of education that I actually have an interest in, rather than the boring basics which literally give me head ache trying to catch up with the schooling I never got as a child. I am trying to be confident in my abilities to pass level 2 Maths but I can make stupid mistakes when I’m nervous. I didn’t think I would feel nervous the night before but I am starting to feel that way now.

I just know that Maths is my weakest subject and fear that I will just forgetting everything I’ve tried to get into my head. I can’t exactly photographically memorise this subject. I have used that methods with other GCSE’s. English and Maths is more skilled than fact and information remembering. I only got a C in English when I was predicted higher than that by our Tutor. I was ill on the day of that exam which didn’t help my final performance. I still attended my English exam but I felt absolutely awful. I managed to get a B in both Sociology and Law GCSE by using my photographic memory. I can literally bring back the information into my head that I’ve previously read. It didn’t help so much with Biology or Psychology, but I still got a C in those, which is a high enough grade for a pass. I don’t have a scientific brain which is required with Psychology and Biology subject. I did these GCSE’s with very stressful things going on alongside in my personal life. There were times when I could have just walked away from it all. It felt like a huge mountain to climb at the beginning of it.

Also, when I failed my Maths GCSE and had to subsequently start from the beginning, that felt like I was thrown half way back down that mountain. I’m hoping that tomorrow I can finally pass this exam which means that I have obtained an equivalent of a C in GCSE Maths (functional skills pass is grade C level). Then I’ll have finally passed all the qualifications I should have completed when I left school. That is a very important goal for me due to school wanting to write me off. 

I’m sure that many of you out there have tried to lose weight at some point. There are so many diet plans out there but many of them don’t lead to sustained weight loss. Many of them are fine when you’re on the diet but as soon as you start eating normally again it leads to piling weight back on (sometimes more than before dieting). I have done this a few times in my life. It can be the most frustrating vicious circle which can become rather depressing.

There are many factors that lead to weight gain. Believe it or not, I was a size 16 when I was in my early 20s. I was on several medications at that point. I’m only on one medication which could potentially cause that kind of weight gain now, anti-depressants. The rest of my medication for anaemia doesn’t have that kind of effect for me. It may be different in other people but studies have shown that iron supplements actually control weight in their participants. That is more likely due to the fact that it rebalances various things that aren’t working properly causing the deficiency. I don’t like the anti clotting medication that I have to take when I’m on a monthly. I get quite bloated them but if I don’t take them I’m going to literally not be able to go anywhere. I would never encourage others to come off  their medication because that isn’t an option for some people. I couldn’t  even come off of mine yet. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to come off of anti-depressants. The things we eat are probably the main factors when it comes to weight gain. Followed by how much we move about either through exercise or just daily life.

Diets are not a long term solution for weight loss. Moderation in what we consume is more able to lead to weight loss and keeping it off. It is best to eat sugary things as you normally would in moderation. This means that your body gets used to things like sugar and fats. There won’t be a sudden weight gain if you include everything in your every day meals. Even carbs, supposedly the biggest enemy of getting slim, can be included in moderation.

The best thing to do is only eat when you’re hungry. Little and often is a way of not feeling hungry and still losing weight. Then you’re burning the calories that you’ve eaten as you go along. I find eating little bits makes me feel a lot better than eating a huge amount in one go. The key is not to get hungry while trying to lose weight otherwise you will most likely make meals that have quite large portion sizes. It is wise to not starve yourself and then eat a load of food because you’re so hungry. I know that it is quite tempting to not eat while trying to lose weight but this doesn’t work. I have tried that tactic. Either you end up getting hungry and finally eat lots of things. Or your body holds onto the fat because it thinks it is being starved. The more that you stress out about the task of losing weight, the more your body will hold onto that excess weight (I have done this). It is best to stay relaxed and not uptight about wanting to lose weight. Then go for a walk and do muscle exercises. The muscle you’ve gained will help burn fat once it is built up. Then it will be easier to keep your weight maintained due to the ratio of muscle to fat. I walk a lot. That is the easiest and cheapest exercise that you can possibly do. This is what has worked for me. I have tried so many supposedly successful ways to lose weight. This is the only option that works for me. Sometimes you have to eat normally to lose weight. I can’t calorie restrict because I don’t lose weight doing that method.