I’m the one who seemingly always gets the finger pointed at me for causing long term damage. The things that have been done to me have damaged me long term. I wake up a lot from nightmares. Although that is nothing in comparison to never being able to enter any kind of relationship. I fear others backstabbing me or abusing me because they see me as weak due to my autism etc. I don’t want to emotionally invest if the other person doesn’t care about me or is just using me. I don’t trust anyone. I won’t get into a relationship because I fear my autism may be taken the wrong way and subsequently I may get accused of things falsely. I don’t want to take that risk. I’m still unsettled due to certain things being left the way they are between me and someone else. I tried to sort it and explain why it distresses me but they got me sent to prison and then more recently started referring to me as their stalker via a Twitter post. Due to how they treated me and other things in my past, I cannot do relationships because I’m fearful of accusations due to my autistic traits. I won’t ever be able to relax and this is exhausting in itself. Consciously swerving people and potentially relationships feels stressful but  I am naturally like that now. I haven’t had a romantic relationship ever because right from my school days the way I got treated by other people conditioned me to never go there. I’m trapped in this way of life due to my past experiences.