Tortured Soul: A Female Aspie’s Story available via again.

After much thought I decided to make my original self-published book which I released in my early 20’s (wrote in my teenage years) available again. There are used copies available on Amazon and EBay which are being sold at an over inflated price by a book and media group. Those are first editions. The print-on-demand copies available via are reasonably priced but are second editions (basically a better edited version with bits cut out that were in the first edition. I published some reports and letters in the first one that wasn’t liked by the authors of them. I also decided that this was far too personal to include which is when the final second edition happened.

It is Part 1 due to the original plan being two books with the same name but numbered. Part 2 never materialised. I haven’t planned to write that second part of this book but who knows what the future will bring. I do feel that the events of the last decade of my life will make a highly interesting Part 2 of the series but I’m not in the right mindset to focus on things like the adoption of my Son yet. I think now is the perfect time to release the first book again because of the understanding of Autism and mental health improving (slightly) over the last couple of years. The things about ATU’s being regularly used for those with forms of Autism and Learning Disabilities are linked to part of my book. I’ve written about them back in 2007 which is long before this was brought out into the public. Some of the teenagers that are being put in the ATU’s now were probably only just born when it happened to me. I feel that this will help a lot of children or teenagers who have a form of Autism now. I had no one to show me how life would be as an Autistic with learning disabilities. It is a highly challenging combination of disability and I grew up knowing absolutely no one the same as myself. I knew people with learning disabilities or Autism but not any that had both. 

There has never been a more appropriate time to release the book again. I’m not even going to make money out of this due to barely paying any royalties nowadays. The book is priced at just over £3. On’s scale of royalties it is the equivalent of working a zero hours contract with a guarantee that you’ll earn absolutely nothing out of the project. I don’t want to do it for the money. This is simply to showcase my early/first ever book so that my work is out there. I promote my writing for when I’ve written another book. It is a way of self promotion for a potential future career writing other books. However, above all, I’d like to help others by sharing my story. I tried to take the book down due to privacy reasons and others are still selling it second hand. I might as well embrace the fact that my earlier work is still appreciated and therefore isn’t going anywhere despite me trying to bury this book a while ago.

I released this book back in 2009 (1st edition) and 2011 (2nd edition) before all the time to talk campaigns which have came out in recent years. I got a lot of backlash for it because at that time talking about disability and mental health was a taboo. I released this book originally before the conversation was started. The trouble with being a pioneer in breaking the barriers is the personal attacks I got from total strangers. There was a lot of support as well. I tried to have a thick skin against the negative aspects of releasing my story but there was times that I found it far too difficult. I used to want to be liked when I was younger. That isn’t so important to me now but it used to be a huge issue for me when I released this book initially.

There is a preview of the first 15 pages of the book on google at:

To buy the book please go to