I have made up my mind today.

I am far too tired mentally, physically and emotionally now. I have made the decision to let others have exactly what they want in certain situations. I cannot be bothered to fight invisible walls that so called normal people put up. I’m highly doubtful that I could ever convince anyone else to make the decisions which would help me. I’m fed up when it comes to waiting for others to have some decency. There are others that will never be decent to me. I’ve waited years for sense to prevail but it never has done. I have lost so much sleep over everything and felt constantly stressed. I don’t want that anymore. I will always care about others even if they don’t give a damn about me. The door is left open but I’m sure that they won’t go through it. I forgive others for things they’ve done which has had negative consequences on my life. I know that I shouldn’t be but I see that others can’t help not understanding aspects of my disability. It isn’t their fault. I’m sick of being tired and constantly on edge. I get afraid all the time when I’m alone. That isn’t good since I live on my own. I just need to finally mentally, emotionally and spiritually disconnect. I haven’t been able to do that for a long time. I need that because I need a proper rest. That isn’t always possible when you’re someone who feels things from everything and everyone. I’m not going to oppose anything that others want now because its emotionally exhausted. I’m a strong person but I’m not strong enough to win certain battles. I’m finally saying that others can have it their way and I’m not going to try to force what I want on them anymore. This is what others have wanted for a long time. I’m now willing to let my defences down and give them my cooperation.