Today felt like a very long day…. talking hair and memories in regards to how things have changed since the 90s.

I barely slept last night. I had a nap but I’m still extremely tired. I’ve done most of the housework that I had to do. I also went for a walk later in the day which was very cold. I was glad to get in the Bath when I got back home. I can see why the Cats haven’t wanted to go out all day. I was cold even wearing my thick Coat. I’ve put my hair up in a plait so that I don’t have to straighten it this week. It takes a long time to do now because my hair is getting longer as well as thick. I just don’t have the energy to mess around with my hair right now. I want it long but this is the annoying half way point where I’m toying between giving up the dream and letting it grow wildly. The wild option is a bit annoying when it goes in my face. I’ve regretted cutting my long hair ever since I had it cut as a teenager. It just takes an age to grow it.

I used to colour it different colours which were polar opposites, eg. black to blond etc. That results in hair being hard to grow but I didn’t want to decide on one colour. Black hair makes me look too pale and so did bleached hair. Now that I’ve stopped going from one spectrum of colour to the complete opposite it feels in better condition than it has in a long time. I’m no longer using permanent colours on it. The one I have on now washes out after a certain number of shampoos. I like the none traditional colours. I’ve had mixed reactions from people around me. I like mermaid hair colours. They’re vibrant and unique. As I’m 31 now I may as well make the most of looking like the right age group to suit this kind of style before I get too ‘mature’ for it. Those that don’t know my age have assumed I am still in my mid 20s. There are some that even think I can pass for a teenager. I don’t think I can anymore. I actually used to be able to be able to pull off looking like a teenager in my mid 20s. I looked quite young when I had my son (24). I can look my actual age now depending on what I wear. I can feel that I’m starting to age now. I get a sore lower back when I’m washing my hair. The cold hurts my joints. I had to drive with a stiff hand the other day. It was uncomfortable to grip the steering wheel. Apparently, the average life expectancy for those with learning disabilities, autism and mental illness is mid 30s. It doesn’t look  like a great outlook for me as I’m early 30s now.

There is one thing that bugs me a bit. I hear others stating all the time that they’ve been doing this Autism awareness stuff for nearly 20 years. I do apologise if I don’t have that much experience in comparison but I’d only have been 12 years old back then. I didn’t even know that I was on the Autistic spectrum at that point. I may lack experience but I do know what I am talking about despite not having done it for so long. I’m used to everyone being older than me but I do not like to feel like I’m seen as less due to not having as much experience. In some respects that gives me an advantage. Times have changed a lot in that time period. I may hate the modern day things but I am still more familiar with them than those that are older than me. There are tactics for Autism awareness that won’t work now which would have worked then. Attitudes are constantly changing. I remember a tiny bit of the 90s despite being rather young then.

There was no knowledge of disabilities in schools. We had the odd one or two students that were in wheelchairs etc but it wasn’t as common. In general it was okay until the late 90s when attitudes started to change. Political correctness went absolutely crazy and it has got progressively worse up until the present day. We could do certain things in the 90s which we’d never be allowed to do now because there would be some regulation against it. I am okay with being against racism and other forms of discrimination which different groups of people experience. However, I have a problem when things are not able to be said or done because the authorities are afraid that it might offend even just one person. Health and Safety has gone so crazy that no one wants to risk thinking for themselves. This results in those of us with disabilities not being accommodated as an individual. The policies say the set boundaries can’t meet their needs. Everyone working in a professional capacity is too afraid to challenge those regulations to stick up for people. Whistle blowers now get treated like they’ve done something terrible for calling out things that aren’t right. This is how modern society is at the moment. That means those of us with Autism etc are constantly disadvantaged. ASD’s require analysis of the individual and trying to work within their capabilities rather than standardised procedures otherwise it causes great stress and subsequently leads to meltdowns where there are irreversible mistakes made which would be preventable if things were done differently.