I actually do not trust anyone nowadays. / The reality that Autism is probably not going to be understood by others, this isn’t helped by inaccurate research.

I don’t want to be suspicious of everyone but I’m starting not to trust anyone anymore. I won the tribunal but I just don’t trust the DWP to find an excuse to tell me I’m not disabled enough to pay me what I was awarded by the tribunal. I shouldn’t read everything online and believe it but I wanted to do some research so that I was prepared for anything that could happen. I know how our system can be in modern day society. Negative circumstances are around many corners if you’re not constantly protecting yourself. It is the way that it has become out there. It took someone that I respected and cared about a lot to walk away from me as well as totally messing up my life to make me see this fact. We meet everyone for a reason. I’m not sure that this was a positive reason or not. I am certainly not trusting anyone again. I don’t believe what others tell me and I always check the facts before agreeing to anything now.

I was thinking today after reading comments on social networking sites from people who were discussing Autism. I don’t think that we are ever going to get others to see that meltdowns (which look like temper tantrums to others) are part of an illness. The meltdowns are not anger based. They are more of a sensory overload malfunction. In my case meltdowns have happened when people keep coming at me over and over again criticizing the traits of my Autism as well as sanctioning me for things I simply cannot help. I have tried to explain that but it’s like talking to brick walls when it comes to professionals. The rules and regulations conformity outweigh an individuals lack of ability in certain areas. It is either their way or the highway. There is no reasonable adjustments put in place. Well not ones that the Autistic can function under anyway. Pathological Demand Avoidance profile makes any reasonable adjustments the individual is told they have to follow a demand. Facing that demand on a continual basis leads to an overload of negative feelings and then finally the meltdown stage arrives. That is how it works.

Only someone with the PDA profile can tell you what happens from the inside. I am highly doubtful anyone will actually listen to me though. The only Autism findings that seem to count are those made externally by researchers that aren’t even on the spectrum. I fail to see how these findings can be seen as accurate. Those researchers can’t do Autism research from internal sources because they don’t have the same thought pattern or experience feelings in the same way as someone on the spectrum.