I can’t sleep :(

I cannot sleep tonight. I’m not looking forward to the PIP appeal tribunal tomorrow. I just want to get it over because most of this year has been spent waiting for it. It’s felt like a stressful ordeal. It’s hard enough being disabled without having to justify why this means you should be entitled to financial support. Dealing with others attitudes and views about my autistic traits is challenging enough without that. At least if you’re in a wheelchair you don’t have the added worry of being sent to Prison due to your disability.

I’m also not able to rest after what’s happened.  This is a PDA thing which I have previously tried to explain but others didn’t listen to me. Technically things staying the way they remain causes me psychological stress. It makes me ill. I have problems sleeping. Extreme anxiety. This stops me from being able to function. I’m not saying it because I want to be annoying. I was saying it because things that happened were damaging me. I can’t just get over it because things have caused lasting damage to me. The situation with the order etc has to be fixed otherwise I keep being unable to sleep, anxious and can’t function in everyday life. It isn’t about getting what I want. I actually have a need for it to be lifted and things smoothed over so that it doesn’t make me ill anymore.

One thought on “I can’t sleep :(

  1. Good luck, Em. Hopefully it’ll go without a hitch and you’ll be reporting back with good news later in the day. Even if the worst happens you can get more help next time (but hopefully there’s no need to expand on that).

    And sorry to hear about the unsurprising trauma you’ve suffered from your recent experiences. I think society’s willingness to just brush fundamental wrongs like that under the carpet is wearing very thin and that people will start being held to account: in your case for not giving you the help you need, in spite of the funding for it actually causing you a disadvantage, and then the judge’s heavy-handed attitude in deciding you needed to be punished in spite of you having the least power to change your situation and already over-committed thanks to battling the DWP. Things like the scathing reports into ATUs and of the DWP by the UN give me hope: tptb can’t simply ignore the increasing pressure forever (which I think is the real reason McVile did a runner: even an idiot like her can see which way the wind is blowing).


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