I’m trying not to react here. But I know who my troll may be and it’s vendetta territory.

I’ve left the comment which the troll has left on a previous blog entry (the one titled Yawn… this is getting old). This is only a small fraction of what has been directed at me. The person has been trying to destroy me for years just because I cut her off due to calling child protection on me when I was pregnant after sending me baby clothes. She befriended me on lots of different profiles during my pregnancy and afterwards pretending to be friends within the Autism circle that supported me. The reason why she did this to me was because her children were taken by child protection due to her mental health issues. Only difference is that her children were Autistic so they went into long term foster care. Those of us that came across her in the Autism and Forced Adoption groups that she falsely reported weren’t so lucky. We have all lost our children because of her vindictive reporting. She is completely nuts and she’ll stop at nothing to destroy our lives. It’s more dangerous since she’s doing a law degree at the Open Uni now. A person like that is highly dangerous on a toxic level with that kind of degree.

I try not to get worried by her vindictiveness but she’s threatened and succeeded in ruining parts of my life several times. The Police wouldn’t do anything every single time I’ve reported her. I had her threats and proof that she’d carried it out but they wouldn’t touch her. Others have done the same to try to get her prosecuted  for stalking us and maliciously trying to ruin our lives. I don’t want her carrying out her threats to make sure I never see my son when he grows up. That is what the last comment on there was about. I have friends of mine that can back me up about how long she’s had this vendetta against me. I don’t believe she’ll stop until I have nothing and no future…. exactly what the threat said in the comment.

Unable to sleep.

I can’t sleep again. The last few days my cold has woken up at night when I want to sleep. I have a sore nose despite putting things on it to avoid this symptom. I’m hoping it goes away soon as I’ve had it over a week. I have no chance trying to sort my sleeping pattern out with this cold kicking off every night. I have to keep waking up to blow my nose. I have taken some cold medication but it has made it worse. I’m relaxed but still got a runny nose. I was nearly asleep but then my nose decided to start running. I feel better tonight compared to the last few days which is a positive sign the cold is leaving me. I just don’t shake off colds that easily. I can get them for 2 to 3 weeks.

I’m also feeling guilty about every thing that has happened. I start hating myself for having a form of Autism even though I know it’s not my choice. I have to live with things my autism has caused and this is increasingly difficult. I hate myself. I hate myself even worse because I know that I couldn’t help being the way that I was at certain times. Even if I make progress and completely change… I’m still evil to the core because of the past. I’m already set to go to hell after I die even if I tamed some aspects of my autism long term. I will always feel evil though.