Just popping by tonight. Rewriting statement for tribunal and quite sleepy. And rainbows!!!

I actually don’t have much to say for once. I know that is unusual. I have taken my sleeping tablet so I’ll be unable to string a sentence together soon. I am planning to edit my tribunal statement in the next few days. I think it needs more in depth details about the symptoms of my disability. I forgot a few things that others mentioned to me. I don’t know how because they are things which have an impact on me. I suppose if you live with a condition then you don’t really see things after a while because it’s something you cope with on a daily basis without thinking about it. The weather was miserable today. I managed to miss the rain showers when I went for a walk but I did get wet earlier on in the day getting out of my car to go somewhere. However, I saw a full rainbow which is quite rare. Normally there’s only one end visible. It was too long to take a photo of it on my phone camera. I wasn’t far enough away to get it all in the frame.

I know that people think I’m insane for believing certain things. But a full rainbow appearing on the that they had a memorial to the LCFC chairman and remembrance day events going on as well as televised programmes. It really makes me believe that all those that we have lost can manifest things like a whole rainbow. There was the same one over the King Power Stadium today where they were having the memorial at the game. I live too far away from the city for it to possibly be the same one. The way the weather was today it could have created more than one. Recently I have had dreams where my Dad has visited me. He hasn’t been to visit me since just after losing my son to adoption. We were hanging out in my flat and in the town where I grew up just like when he was alive. I’m sure he hangs around me when I’m awake but I can’t see him then.

Anyway, I’m going to sleep now because I’m starting to feel sleeping tablet. I wish that I could sleep naturally like my Cats. They’ve been asleep all evening tonight. There were fireworks being let off earlier so they decided to stay in and just sleep.

2,555 views yesterday… a new record! And, my view on NAS.

The stats of this blog went crazy yesterday. The page views were the highest they’ve ever been here yet. It’s safe to say that I think the blog has started to go viral. I’ve been doing a lot more promoting recently though. I’ve been asked by one of the individuals I encountered this week during the promotion activities to write an article on PDA and the problems associated with it from a Health Psychology perspective. They run an academic Psychology magazine from their department at the University where they work. I said I’d do it but I haven’t had chance to do that yet. I’ve been working on much more important things, such as my tribunal statement. It needs printing out but at least it’s technically finished as far as the main part. I may have to edit it a bit before I print out the final statement. Then another lecturer from Oxford University tweeted the link to all his followers because he thought it was educational. He wanted to help us put PDA out there. It finally might be about to happen.

Although I have just read that NAS has decided not to promote a PDA petition today. I don’t know the full details but the excuse they gave was that they refused to safeguard those on the spectrum. As always the main organisation for Autism lets us down. They’ve done the same for many years to a lot of us on the less severe end of the spectrum. I don’t really expect much of them nowadays. We learn not to expect much from an organisation who doesn’t represent our issues or views properly. I’ve known others to say that they’ve rang up their helpline only to be ignored. It’s happened to me. I rang them when I was losing my son and for other issues but I never got a reply. They never bothered to advocate for me or Autistic parents in general. They let more people down on the spectrum than they help. They certainly don’t assist adults at all. And many of the care places/support services for less severe Autism aren’t fit for purpose either. They do not ensure that needs are supported correctly. The councils and government have cut their funding which has made it even worse.

I found out yesterday that the care company which used to run the residential care home I was in has since disappeared. The places that they ran have now been taken over by a new company. I’m not surprised by that news. I had to live with others that had violent tendencies. I constantly had to watch my back. It wasn’t a safe environment mixing violent and non violent residents. I got attacked in their hospital unit and had to spend a further six months there literally being afraid to venture out of my room. I hadn’t long got there after the court sent me on section. I learned within the first few days that the unit was not a safe place to be sent to for supposedly help with your mental health and Autism. I was actually traumatised by what I saw there because I was the youngest in the female unit due to being just too old for the adolescence unit. I still had the mental age for the adolescent unit though. It’s crazy that I actually found Prison less traumatic than this environment. In Prison I got a lot more encouragement and support than I did in the Psychiatric hospital. In the hospital they basically drugged me up (this is how I ended up a size 16 at just 21 years old) on things like Risperidone, Quetiapine (that one had to be reviewed because it made me violent), Sertraline etc. They didn’t really actively encourage residents to make progress in therapy. I found that Prison had more of a community atmosphere. We were in groups or pairs a lot and supported each other. There was a lot of aggression but only from the bitchy tough types that had an issue with anyone because that was their character. I saw some quite awful comments made between the women in Prison but most of them seemed to warm to me. Especially the ones I met during free flow and activities. It is impossible to get on with every single individual on your wing because the proximity is too close. I just ignored the ones I got a bad feeling about or who didn’t seem to want to group together with me. I need to go now because my sleeping tablet is starting to take effect and I’m feeling unable to string a sentence together.