Tired and emotionally worn out.

I have a right to be annoyed. I barely sleep or go out socially because of what has happened. The career that I wanted is now overshadowed by the things that have happened. I am upset that others around me who are supposedly friends and family believe the other person. Those that know me should see I’m not capable of being an awful person. I struggle to understand life because of my brain being backward. I don’t really understand anything complex because my brain can’t fathom it out. People are complex. They seem to have illogical reasons for doing things and I’m never going to see those reasons as logical. I have been distressed over things for a long time. I’ve been the doctors several times but get brushed off. They did refer me to a counselling service a few times but they brushed me off saying they couldn’t help me. I haven’t even heard anything about the last counselling referral. I’m too distressed to sleep at night or do things right now. I could move on easier if there wasn’t outstanding punishments to do. I can’t not think about things if I’m still being made to pay because it’s unfair and still connects me to things. I’ve been punished enough. I just want to get everything done and not have to pay any more money that I cannot afford. It’s horrible being born into a world that has no understanding of PDA or barely any about autism. I’ve learnt to expect that those I actually want to be friends with will reject me. I can’t trust anyone now. I’m emotionally damaged by everything I’ve been through.