I can’t make people listen to me. I don’t have the ability to ‘influence’.

I have tried my best over the years to get people to hear what I’m trying to say in regards of what it’s like to live with Autism. It normally falls on deaf ears. Others don’t want to listen if they’re not directly affected by Autism. Why would they? It isn’t a part of their life. They don’t see it as their problem. I don’t feel that we will ever get others to understand. It’s hard for neurotypicals to see our point of view. Many of them can’t think ‘outside the box’. I wish that I could do more but I don’t have the influence out there. Some people just have the influence to sell things to the public. I’m normally ignored. I just don’t have ‘it’.

I have spent my life feeling invisible. I’m never the one that gets noticed or given the opportunities. I’ve had to fight for everything I have managed to get in life. I know that this is down to my PDA side because socially I’m just not equal. That is an important thing to be if you want to get anywhere in life. I try my best without that part of me but I can never reach a high level of influence out in the world. I have to settle for something less than my actual potential because this flaw in me as a person. Social belonging is a huge part of life and I can’t figure that bit out due to my difficulties. I’ll never have the natural skills socially that others take for granted. I can try to fill in gaps but I’ll never totally fill those areas where I lack. I can try to influence people despite my social incapacities. I’m just saying that I can’t work miracles. I can’t even get people to do things that I need doing so it’s kind of pot luck to get the right individuals to see my blog etc.

I’ve seen a trend of the abuse of Autistic people increase recently.

I have decided to post this entry because my Twitter feed is full of stories and links to negative attitudes/abuse towards Autistic people. It seems to be getting more and more common. I have never seen these kinds of things happening so regularly and in such greater amounts before. It seems like there is a correlation between us trying to create awareness of Autistic Spectrum Conditions and the abuse that the whole community is experiencing. It is starting to get worrying. I am afraid that the things we’re saying to create awareness about our condition is being used to abuse us. This isn’t fair and others are getting away with it. I got punished for being mistreated by others. It has happened to others on the spectrum too. Why should we be punished for the attitudes of others? Those with negative attitudes towards us get away with their actions but when we retaliate we are more than likely going to get punished.

Abusing us shouldn’t be like a pass time for others because they see us as weaker in some respects. I’m far from weak as it took a lot of strength to lose my son to adoption and fight it in court for a whole year. I’m one Autistic that you cannot pull crap on because of my experiences. I may not see it straight away but when I do I make sure I confront the crap. Also I don’t think that a certain person’s friends should support her because they didn’t support me and why should they get away with that? Especially sending me to prison. Trolling me and using aspects of my Autism wasn’t right of their friends either. How are we teaching people not to abuse us or be unsupportive of our differences if we’re allowing these things? There has to be legal repercussions for those that don’t support us or use actions to punish us for Autism traits. We end up looking like monsters for having a disability. I even feel like I don’t deserve anything positive because of my past and this has been drilled into me by how others have treated me.